J.R.: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome back to One Thousand Gurus where we share the stories and life lessons from people of all walks of life, and I'm your host, J.R. Yonocruz.

Today's guest is Ramy Sidhom. Ramy is an early career physician with a few board certifications who still tries to dance as much as possible and travel the world whenever possible.

He is social, extroverted, and loves a good meal with good company. He believes that people are good and God provides what we need to make it through this world.

So I say this all the time, but I absolutely love this episode. But more specifically, I don't think it's a stretch to say that this conversation with Ramy is easily my top 10, maybe top five of all time for the show so far.

It was such a good excuse to ask Ramy onto the show to catch up and reconnect with him as I remember him as one of the guys from my college days who had the presence, disposition, and mindsets for an ideal top-tier guest for my show.

You'll find out why when we get into it.

We get into how and why he has had so many varying interests over the years, his path to pursuing medical school even while on a competitive dance team, advice on making it through med school as [00:01:00] well as overall career advice.

We talk about his enthusiasm for travel and lessons learned about himself as a solo traveler, and then we end with one of the most wisdom-packed rapid fires in recent One Thousand Gurus history.

I swear, each answer that Ramy gave was like a TED Talk, and I just really appreciate how he thinks, his values, his character, and hopefully you guys can get a glimpse of that and why he's had such a positive impact on the people around him.

So without further ado, please enjoy this episode with Dr. Ramy Sidhom, MD.

Hello and welcome back to One Thousand Gurus. Ramy, welcome to the show 

Ramy: Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here. It makes me feel like I have something important to say or something. 

J.R.: Nice. You do have something important to say because I am so curious and intrigued not sarcastically. I know that sounds sarcastic, but yes.

Thank you for being here. I really appreciate it. Now, you're just coming straight from work. You said you- you're coming from Long Beach, right? Yeah. Like, from where you work. Yeah. So I'm glad it was... it worked out. [00:02:00] I think most of my show is usually now virtual, but it's nice to have a good excuse, and we haven't caught up in years.

Yeah. I know we've bumped into each other, but happy to have you on and figure out what your profession is because we don't know what it is. So we'll see. But yeah, thank you for being here. Let me go into how I know you. So Ramy and I, he is another Kaba Modern alumni, so I think that's a recurring theme on this show.

Maybe I'll make a playlist of all the Kaba Modern people. But, so yeah, we started dancing when I went to UCI. Wait, you went to UCI? 

Ramy: Yeah, yeah, 

J.R.: yeah. Yeah, you went to UCI. Yeah. And when I was a first year, a newbie on the team, it was 2010, and I think you, did you... You danced that year, but next year as well, right?

Yeah. So your old year. Yeah. Yeah, 

Ramy: so- And a little bit of super old year- 

J.R.: Okay. Yeah, 

Ramy: yeah ... so it was like three and a half years for me. 

J.R.: Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah. So, yeah, Ramy is a year senior to me on the team, but kinda like all the... Hmm, here's now a random train of thought, but, well, we went into this with Arnel a little bit, but you know how the Kaba Modern culture, and it's like the- the, we have the leaders, and [00:03:00] then the oldies, and then the returners, and the newbies, and it's kinda like a family- Yeah

in that sense. 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: Where it's the newbies are like the babies, and then the returners are like the older brothers and sisters. Yeah. The oldies are like the parents. So I think- The 

Ramy: discipliners. 

J.R.: Exactly, yeah. And so there's like a, there's a culture of discipline, and what I learned from Arnel, it's like it's probably rooted in Filipino culture- Yeah

where it's like, you know, respect your elders no matter what. But what I did appreciate about that is one, my class, we got really close as, like, siblings, and that's kind of- Yeah ... baked into the structure of how- Yeah ... our culture is. But also, I did always respect the classes above mine, like our returners, 'cause regardless of our ba- dance background and our skill levels, there's always that sort of level of respect that I really appreciated, and then the oldies and the super oldies, and how it's a weird thing, and I'm going on a tangent now, how- I felt like I could always tell how long they'd been on the team by how good of a dancer they were.

Ramy: Mm-hmm. 

J.R.: And that's kind of a generalization- Mm ... but I'm like, "Okay, this person's definitely an oldie 'cause they're so good." Yeah. This is a super oldie. They are very good. Yeah. And this is a returner. They're way better than me. And so [00:04:00] it's kind of funny how that kind of goes, but like- 

Ramy: That's interesting 'cause I, I feel like that kind of stopped with your class.

Oh, yeah. 'Cause you guys had so many talented dancers, and I think, you know, maybe it's 'cause I was a returner and now I was- Oh, I see ... suddenly not a newbie, and I would look at you guys and say, "Wow, they're so good. They don't look like newbies." So I feel like after that everyone just was so good that it- They're just talented, yeah

it didn't matter anymore, you know? That's true, 

J.R.: yeah. 

Ramy: I think, too, with the class above me newbies were in pieces. They were in the front, and so it kind of started to break down that hierarchy- Mm ... which I think is probably for the best, but- 

J.R.: Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah. And people come in with different skill levels 'cause even within my class- I mean, I, even I was talking to Alex Hung about this, but I was like, I felt like I was the worst dancer.

And every- we all had similar experiences- It sucks ... because we would look at, like, Alex Crystal- Yeah ... and be like, "Okay. Well, you're clearly number one- "... so get out of here," and he's just laughing. But and everyone's just trying to keep up. But right, it's just, that's how- Yeah ... you see things when you come in is- That's 

Ramy: funny.

His brother was the number one in our class- 

J.R.: So there we go ... and I was like, "Yeah, there he is." Yeah, it's it's the Crystals supremacy there. But yeah, so I think that was very interesting, and I think even then, what [00:05:00] I learned a lot from Kaba Modern is it's such a- that first year is so formative because it really solidified how I see everything and how I brought it into the future classes or future things that I've done.

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: And so I appreciate that a lot. And so I don't even know what I was going into. Yeah so Kaba Modern, so I think- Yeah ... maybe this is what I'm trying to say, is you- that's how I see you, and that's the type of space that you hold in my brain and in my heart- Yeah ... is, like, you are my returner, no matter we're alumni, and it's- Yeah, yeah

been, like, years and years, but that's kinda how I see you. 

Ramy: Yeah. 

Well- I think it set up this notion of we were your protectors 'cause we didn't want you to be mistreated. Like- 

... 

Ramy: We felt like maybe we were misunderstood, so I think we felt very protective of your class, wanna make sure you guys had a good experience and that you guys knew what to do and knew what to do, you know, not to get in trouble, so- 

I feel like your class I, I feel that way about them still even though it's been a long time. Yeah. 

J.R.: Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate that. And I think as I did my reflections with my last couple of guests too, it's the same thing where we had a good experience in college, and now the dance team that [00:06:00] I'm on, my last seven and a half years has been the same thing, where it's I wanna help create a good space better than the experience that I've had 'cause you always wanna make it better for the next generation.

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: And again, I think that's directly because of you guys teaching us that and showing us by example, and then now in my new dance spaces, I try to do the same thing where I'm like, "Okay, well, we can make this better, and I can make sure that the things that had happened in the past now can improve upon for the future."

Yeah. And so, I think that's the good thing, right? 

Ramy: Yeah, 

J.R.: yeah. I was talking, do you know Little B Brian Perez? So he's a really big locker, but we were talking about Arnel a lot because, you know, Arnel is super big into locking to what- Yeah, yeah ... Little B says. Uh, He's like, "Yeah, Arnel like, the biggest locking fan."

He'll go into, he's like, "I love you guys." Yeah, yeah. 'Cause like I love Arnel's spirit. 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: And we were talking about how obviously Arnel does a lot for dance spaces and how we should all aspire to be like an Arnel in our own dance space. Yeah. And so just to bring it all back, it's Arnel, Kaba Modern, bringing it to us, and then our own spaces.

Yeah. So just I guess, a good shout-out kudos to everyone. 

Ramy: Yeah. He's so good at bringing gratitude into everything he does. It's like a active superpower [00:07:00] that he has. 

J.R.: Mm. 

Ramy: Always gratitude, always brings out the positive in things. Very rarely does he show up to a situation and not say something positive, which- Yeah

ripples 'cause he has a lot of authority. Yeah. So when he says something like that it matters. 

J.R.: Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Shout out to Arnel for that's like- Yeah, Arnel ... the third shout out you got. I think I need to have him back on the show. I'm 

Ramy: sure it won't be the last. 

J.R.: And also, I have your sunglasses.

I'm so sorry. It's- He left it here and I still haven't gave back to him. 

Ramy: Do you want me to give it to him? I'm gonna see him at rehearsal next week. 

J.R.: That might be a good idea. Let's talk after this. Or maybe I just use it as a bait and be like- Ah, yes ... "Hey, I need it back," so. 

Ramy: There. 

J.R.: Cool. So all right, so yeah, Kaba Modern class, K10, also had Andy Ho, Wei Lu, Arnel himself and we never really got to connect over your professional career.

I know you're a doctor. Wait, what? You're a doctor? Shh. Anyways, and yes, so I remember that, I do remember that during our Kaba Modern days we did have some insightful chats, but I think also that your reputation as, like, we'll be dancing and all of a sudden someone will just be in the corner talking to Ramy, like, he's like, "Man, I just learned a bunch of stuff from Ramy."

I was like, "Yeah, that- that's who he is." [00:08:00] So that's what I remember from my Kaba Modern days, and yeah, you're always very kind, you're always a very calming presence, very wise, and very liked by everyone, especially in that sort of college dance space. You were, like, still the sa- I'd imagine the same person you are today, as very calm, mature, and wise, and that's another thing I appreciate about you.

So no, that's done. I'm done with my spiel. Any clarifications? What are you even up to, man? 

Ramy: Well, I just remember that you paved your own experience through Kaba. I think you definitely did things your own way, but you were, like, there for the ride. You signed up for it and you were like, "All right, good, bad, or ugly, I'm taking all of it," and then I just, you just felt like you just went through it differently than other people.

And I remember feeling this sense of let's not try to influence his path too much. You know, leave him alone if he wants to be left alone. Let him do what he wants. You know, trying to just kind of create that space around you so that you could have that experience just, you know, again, being the returner for you.

And I just, you know, it's funny 'cause I was listening to one of these podcasts before and someone brought up the not with that attitude thing [00:09:00] that you would always say- ... and that was, like, your tagline. And it has been something that has continued to stay in my life, I think about, and I'm like, oh, you know, it, it's, you say it jokingly, but not really, you know?

Mm-hmm. So that's kind of what I remember you to be. You were always very intentional about what you were doing, how you thought about things. You were very insightful. You thought about everything. You respected everyone's opinion as a way for you to learn and grow, and I thought that that was a really nice way to exemplify curiosity in your life.

Mm. So that's kind of what I remember about you, and I feel like you're the same having this, you know? Like, how could you not be? 

J.R.: Yeah, yeah. It just kind of manifested a little bit more or became a little bit more focused or- Yeah ... something like that. Thank you. I appreciate that.

All right. So if nothing else, let's go into our first topic, which is- Mm

always origin story, influences, whatnot. So jumping off points, where did you grow up and what were your biggest influences? 

Ramy: So I grew up in Anaheim, California. It's where I was... I was born in Chicago and then moved to Anaheim when I was three. [00:10:00] Grew up there, spent my whole life pretty much in that house.

My f- family had a house in Anaheim Hills, and I didn't leave until I went to med school in Denver. So I was at UCI for undergrad, I was at Fullerton Troy High School for high school. I started learning about different cultures and, you know, dancing in high school, and I think that's really where I started to develop, you know, oh, these are things that Ramy likes.

You know, these are things that, you know, different than my cousins, different than my other friends. So, I got involved with Indian dancing and Filipino dancing and hip hop dancing and, like, all these things in high school. I did ASB. Turns out I'm social. I think I spent most of my middle school and elementary years being very introverted, and I didn't really have very many friends.

But I didn't notice it, you know? That sounds like it could be very angsty, but I was pretty happy. I just didn't know I didn't have friends- ... until I got friends and got social in high school. And my parents even to this day like, I remember like, like, I'm 37 now, and for my 35th birthday, I like, had people over [00:11:00] and they're still like, "Wow, you have friends."

Like, I've had friends for a long time, but- ... you know, to them it's it's still, they still remember that little boy, you know? So I started going to dance stuff. I started going to like, my own church. I was, like going to church with my parents and then I wasn't liking it as much, so I went with Alex and Marco and same, it's also a Catholic church, but I kinda did it for myself, and I started making friends there.

And so I kinda started to forge my own path through these things. And, you know, at the time it didn't seem like that big of a thing, but I've carried a lot of those pathways to this day. I still do a lot of things culturally with... Now less so on different clubs, you know? I'm not part of a Filipino club anymore.

I'm not part of the Indian club anymore. But I do go to cu- cultures, and I listen to music, and I eat the food, and I do all these things. It's seeped its way into my life. Dance, I think I've given up dance I don't know, a half dozen times already, and then it keeps like, finding its way back.

And also those relationships that I've made with those people, even in high school, I'm still friends [00:12:00] with to this day. Um, And that has kind of been a, a- I don't know like a main line that I've like, held onto that has helped me kind of see the world and experience the world. Um, So that was kind of where I think I started to develop the things that I like and I've kept them, and it's- I feel very fortunate to have had such a good high school experience that was so, comfortable and not so, again, angsty.

I was pretty happy, but there wasn't a lot that happened that made me feel down on myself, you know? And it was a very supportive environment, and I've carried that forward. And then college was so much fun. You know, I went to UCI 'cause I knew they had a really good bio program, and I wanted to go to med school.

But also they had a really good dance scene. And I would just watch Kaba Modern, and CADC, and, you know, Common Ground, and all these things at the time, and TM, and I wanted to be part of it, but I wasn't dancing at the time, so I didn't think I could be. So I joined, and it was a lot of fun. I was gonna be a double major.

I was gonna do philosophy. Wow. I was gonna do philosophy and bio. Yeah. But I felt like I was a horrible writer, and I wouldn't get [00:13:00] good grades and not get into med school, so I gave up on that dream. Um, And then I just like, trained a lot to make it onto these dance teams. I got rejected a few times and then finally got on to Common Ground for a year.

I was on Underground for half a year before that. And then I decided to make the switch to come to Kaba, and I think being on that team, kinda like with the structure that you mentioned, really sh- gave me opportunity to develop thicker skin and grow confidence, and I think I needed that. Um, And I've carried that with me forward.

Um, Then I went to med school, and that was a whole, that was a whole mess. Not mess, but it was a whole process, and it was difficult, and harder now in retrospect than when I was going through it. I think you just kinda do these things, and you don't really think about it, maybe as a defense mechanism.

But went to med school, moved away for the first time, and I remember actually we were at Hip Hop Internationals in Vegas, and we were competing. Um, We like, made it to finals, and then, [00:14:00] you know, I left that night, and everyone came into the parking lot to like, wish me goodbye, and like, people were crying, and I was getting emotional, and then I just left, drove home to California, packed my bags, and then said goodbye to dance and went to med school, and that was hard.

And then that kind of was a different chapter of my life, and now I'm a physician. I work in a hospital. I take care of patients and, you know, it's... I think was always scary that I would let go of all these things that I loved so much, and I have found that I've been able to keep up with most of those things.

And that's kinda where I'm at now. Yeah, I think I skipped over the last like, 15 years, but, like- Yeah, yeah ... it's been trying to get to where I'm at, you know, med school and residency and fellowship and another fellowship, and it all is this long, arduous process, and then you get to the point where you are now working.

And I'm an attending now, and I work, and I have a very stable life, and it's weird almost because of how stable it is. But I'm, I'm enjoying it. 

J.R.: Nice [00:15:00] Okay, there's a lot of different things in there that that I really like. Which thanks for sharing. Um, I wanna go back to more in the beginning half of that.

But so what drew you to medicine? What drew you to dance? And then why the philosophy? I'm just curious- Yeah ... about those, like why, what drew you into 

Ramy: those things? Yeah. Well, the medicine thing, I always was interested in things like, you know, you'd watch like cartoons on TV. I would find like TLC, and they'd have like s- true stories ER or I don't know, different surgical things, and I would like always love to watch that.

And like my dad's an anesthesiologist, and I remember he used to... So he like puts people to sleep like before surgeries. And I think when I was younger, he would have like recordings of surgeries that he was gonna be part of, and he would watch them to kinda like review. Hmm. And I would get into his videos and watch them when I was little.

Interesting. So I've always been interested in medicine and how the body works, and it's like this unifying thing that everybody has, you know? We all have different experiences. We all have different influences. We all have different [00:16:00] privileges and barriers. But we all have a heart. We all have a liver, you know?

Yes. It's 

J.R.: crazy. News to 

Ramy: me, but- And it, we all get sick. We all have like things that bleed. So to me, it was just kind of this cool thing. So I always liked it. So that was kind of how I got into it. I think I was lucky to have a lot of people in my life that did medicine and were involved with it.

We'd visit my dad in the hospital, so I always grew up liking it. As for dance, it's kind of, you know, the people I looked up to most were great dancers. It's like Marko, Alex, Dale, like all these people, and I was like, "Oh, I wanna be like them. This is so cool. This is something that like I can't do."

Like everything else in my life that I would try, like I could do, and then when it came to dance, I just was not that good. I would never get select group. I would never like, you know, I wasn't making it onto the teams, like all this stuff. And it was something that I wanted to work on and wanted to get feedback on.

And it became like just really kind of addictive to try to level up and get better at dancing and ask for feedback and, you know, make it onto this team and make it into this [00:17:00] piece, and now learn this dance style, like all this stuff. Um, So that's kinda how I got into it. You'd watch videos when YouTube first came out, and you're like, "Wow, this is amazing.

Oh, it would be so cool to look like that." Um, And then, then I think the social part of it kept me into it. 

J.R.: Right. 

Ramy: Then it became, like you mentioned, I'd always be in the corner like talking to somebody. That was my role on these teams. I was not a choreographer. I was not the person that was gonna be in the front center.

You're not gonna remember me dancing on stage. But like I developed good relationships with people, and I tried to make sure everyone had a good experience, and I learned from people. And that became kind of the best part of dancing.

Um, And then the philosophy part, I, that was just a whim, honestly.

I was just reading books about philosophy- Yeah ... and people's ways of seeing things, and it's so interesting to hear, like, how people formulate their thoughts. 'Cause I think at that point you realize, wow, not everyone thinks like me, huh? 

J.R.: Yeah. 

Ramy: Wow. I was gonna 

J.R.: say, 'cause the philosophy thing is a real like, thing.

Because when someone says, "Oh, I'm interested in philosophy," that's not really a thing that you hear, [00:18:00] because to hear about someone who like, wants to think about things or how things are thought about and you're, like pursuing it possibly as a major, I'm like, "Oh, well, where did that come from?" 

Ramy: Yeah.

J.R.: But it does kinda line up, I guess. 

Ramy: I was just fascinated how- Yeah ... like, people thought about things. Right You know? 'Cause it's... You know, I think I realized pretty early on like, everybody is pretty different- And we all have different opinions, but like I think everybody kind of speaks to their truth and lives their truth.

You know, if I'm like you and I feel very politically like at odds and we don't feel the same way about things, like you're coming to it because you're thinking of it in a way that is real and true and makes sense to you, and I'm coming to a completely different conclusion that is real and makes sense to me.

And like how do we get to that point, you know? Mm-hmm. I think it helps you understand people. It helps you have a lot less like hate and negativity towards people if you understand like where they're coming from. 

So I think that's why the philosophy thing was such a draw to me at the time. 

J.R.: It makes sense.

It's like a, there's an empathy component to that where [00:19:00] it's if you understand philosophically how people think and why they're different and you can have a little bit more acceptance, understanding about that, or the reality that we are very different based on our experiences, the way we're wired, et cetera, then those interactions are a little bit more, you know, conducive or- 

Ramy: Yeah

J.R.: whatever. 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: Makes sense. 

Ramy: That's the hope at least, 

J.R.: you know? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously, obviously people are more, are more complicated than that. Yeah. But that's interesting. Okay. So you were trying a lot of things, exposed to a lot of things. Very interested, very curious person. Um, Dance was there.

That, a little bit of philosophy. Medicine has always been there, and it was kinda like you felt it was the sort of set path. You felt like you were made for it, et cetera- Mm ... it seems. And that's mostly been your career. I'm curious on the... I mean, well, even the whole pursuing medical school while being on a comp team is pretty insane.

Yeah. That's wild. Like I, I wouldn't, wouldn't- ... I wouldn't recommend it. All my friends who have done similar things, right, like trying to go to apply to grad school or anything like [00:20:00] that- Yeah ... I'm like I don't know how- That was 

Ramy: wild ... 

J.R.: I wanna ask specifically, biggest challenges on the way there- Yeah ... but also maybe in medical school.

Yeah. And then any unexpected turning points. 

Ramy: Yeah. So I think I realized pretty early on that I thrive when I'm busy. That checks out. Like I like to have like many different hats that I put on in a day, and I remember like in college I would have four different outfits in the car 'cause I would go to the hospital, do research, then I'd go to class, then I would like teach the Moro Suite at like Kaba bayan at UCI 'cause I was like the suite director.

Then I would go to rehearsals for Kaba, and then we'd go eat at Jack in the Box, and I'd go home and sleep for three hours and do it again. And everyone thought I was crazy, but like I was doing well in all those things. And then it- Which is pretty crazy. It, it is. It is, it's crazy. But then like- In a good way

when I would only have one thing, like for example when I was studying for my MCAT, this like test you have to take to like get into med school, and I like stopped [00:21:00] everything and was just studying for the test, and it was miserable And I would get lower and lower grades. And then two weeks before the test, I, I turned 21. I had my 21st birthday on Kaba Modern that day. They had a big party for me. I went and just saw everybody, and then I left 'cause I had MCAT class in the morning. And then they continued to celebrate me without me being there.

Um- 

J.R.: Ramy, this is for you, wherever you are. 

Ramy: It was great. And I remember going to um, HHI and being at the pool.

Everyone's like, kinda sunning, and I have, like... I had a box of books- Oh my gosh ... that I carried around, and I would have that. Vegas? And I would be studying. In Vegas. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And they were like, "How are you gonna take this test? Like, HHI is coming. You shouldn't go to HHI." And I was like, "No, I wanna go.

I wanna be there. I wanna..." I had so much FOMO. Yeah. You know? I wanna be there. I was about to 

J.R.: say- So much FOMO ... you're, that's so FOMO. 

Ramy: It's so FOMO. I wasn't even dancing. I was just supporting- Oh ... the oldies, you know? 

J.R.: That's awesome. 

Ramy: But I did really well, you know? Like, God blessed me with a decent score, way higher than any practice test I got, and I was like, "This is- 

J.R.: Wow

Ramy: this [00:22:00] was not my doing. This was... Thank you." Yeah. But I, you know, I applied, and I almost didn't make it. I applied to I think it was 56 schools 'cause my sc- my score was gonna expire. They... I didn't know that... I didn't have anybody to mentor me in med school. Mm. All of my family members went to med school outside of the country, so they didn't know the process.

I didn't have any like, older friends to really ask, so I didn't know that my test was gonna expire. Oh. So I had a... It was gonna expire if I didn't get in that cycle. And my grades were not amazing. They were good enough, but they were not amazing. So I was really scared I was going to not make it, so I applied to 56 schools.

It cost thousands of dollars. I was, like, eating ramen and not going on dates and just like, saving money to apply, and I got into one school. 

J.R.: Wow. Oh, sorry, is that... Okay, I've never applied to medical school. Ah. How, how, how much is 

that? 

Ramy: That's so much. Usually people are applying to, like, 10 or 15. 

J.R.: Okay, okay.

And they get into at least 

Ramy: one? They... I mean, it, I don't know. It depends. Some [00:23:00] people, it takes them a couple cycles to get in. Okay. But usually if you get in, you get a few acceptances. I 

J.R.: see. 

Ramy: I got one. Wow. And I got it early in the cycle, and it was a really good school, and I was like, "Again, this is not my doing. This is God. Thank you." Mm. But it was very stressful 'cause had I not gotten in, it would've, I would've had to change paths, and I'd never thought about a different path I just kind of went with it, you know? And I got in, I left, I got there, and I remember having this moment like, "What am I doing here?"

"Do I really wanna do this?" "Why do I wanna do this?" "What's motivating me?" Yes, I like the subject matter, but the day-to-day work, like the actual process, is this gonna be what I want? And it was really hard. I was living alone for the first time. I didn't know a single person in Colorado.

It was pretty depressing. I felt like all my FOMO, like all my friends were back here. I was watching videos of everybody doing their thing, and I was like not part of it. Coming from 

J.R.: like going to, doing everything to now completely isolated. 

Ramy: I was just studying. 

J.R.: Oh. 

Ramy: And it was really hard, and turns out I didn't know how to [00:24:00] study.

I had made it through college like- 

J.R.: Yes ... 

Ramy: cramming the night before. Yeah. Like you can't do that in med school, but I never learned how I studied best to actually learn, and that was really hard, to try to learn how to learn when you're in med school. And they use this analogy like you're drinking through a fire hose.

They just turn on the fire hose, you open your mouth, and just like all this knowledge you're supposed to get, and you know, it was hard. And it took me probably the first year to figure out how to study appropriately. And you know, I went to such a good school that like everyone else was so much smarter than me.

I feel like-

I don't know. I just feel like I was not... Like I didn't belong there, you know? I didn't feel like I was smart enough like these people. I wasn't getting good scores enough like these people, and you know, it was kind of hard like for the first time in my life. Like studying's always been easy for me, and that was not.

Then I started actually working in the hospital, and there was like an aha moment where I was like, "Oh, thank God. I actually love this." Mm-hmm. Like I'm, I love talking to people. I love the [00:25:00] medicine and explaining medicine to people. That's like things that are happening to their body and taking it and making it like real in a way that they understand.

You know? And like these are the, the like scariest times in people's lives most of the time, and for you to be there and for them to lean on you and be a supportive and a good force in that moment, that's a lot of power and it's a big honor, and I felt that and I enjoyed that. And then I knew, I was like, "Oh, okay, yes, this is what I'm supposed to do.

I love it." Then I, you know, came back, I did my internal medicine residency, and again, I loved it. I had a great time. Everyone else kind of explai- complained, you know. You're working like 80 hours a week, you're getting paid like less than minimum wage when it comes down to hours, and, you know, everyone's like, "Oh, the life of a f- resident is so hard and miserable and it's terrible."

And like yes, but I had a good time , you know? I enjoyed what I was doing. I was still dancing. I remember Kaba had like a throwback set- Crazy ... and like I did one with them at Vibe one year, the kid set. And, you know, I was still [00:26:00] doing that. I was hanging out with my friends most days of the week, go to work, and it was fun.

I enjoyed it. 

J.R.: One thing I wanted to ask, well, well, I have three questions, but- why do you think, and more of a, I guess, an introspective question, why do you think that doing one thing or focusing made you miserable? I know maybe inherently that's just some people are wired to want to juggle a lot of things.

And then two it totally makes sense how being isolated after doing all that kind of made you feel that way, but you said that you learned how to study. Is there anything that you think is insightful to explain to the audience of what clicked for you when you figured out that sort of studying?

Ramy: Yeah. Um, Answer the first question, the um, the idea of why doing a lot of things is helpful for me. I always like variety, and I think if I'm just doing one thing, I g- I get bored of it, or I get in my head about it, or I get, you know, kinda down about it. And so it helps to switch to something else.

Sure. And to like, focus like, a different part of your brain or different [00:27:00] part of your body. It's like if you just work out biceps, it's never gonna grow. You have to do like, shoulders, and back, and, like, all biceps, like, all this area to like, get it to grow. Same thing, I had to like, dance. I had to like, be good in my spirituality.

I had to be good with my family. I had to do research, study. Like, it just was easier to switch over if things were not going well. 

J.R.: Mm-hmm. 

Ramy: So I think that's why I like doing a lot. 

J.R.: It's more balance, right? Yeah. Because holistically there are certain... If you just focus on fitness but neglect your family, your spirituality, everything else, right, it doesn't...

But if you're able to switch, it kind of activates and l- it rests that other part of your brain to go over to this side, maybe, like- 

Ramy: Yeah ... 

J.R.: creativity. 

Ramy: I feel like it. Right. Yeah. Or, like, you can pull yourself up from the other things that you're good at if one thing is not so great. Sure. But if you're focusing on the one thing and it's not going great what do you do?

Mm-hmm. You know? Even now I have like, I have kind of a hybrid role as a physician. I have four different board certifications. Usually people have one or two. I was indecisive it felt like, but I created a career for myself where I get to do a lot of different things in my day-to-day work, and [00:28:00] that makes it really fun for me.

Like, I enjoy it a lot more, 'cause I can do this and I can do that. Um, So- There's 

J.R.: also, like, really deep specialization. 

Ramy: Well, I am, like, a specialist- Gotcha ... but just, like- But just multiple ... in a couple things. 

J.R.: Okay. Yeah. 

Ramy: So I get to do that deep specialization in a couple things and, like- 

J.R.: So you're just built that way.

Ramy: Kind of. And like, and but it's funny 'cause that stuff started in college, right? Yeah. I didn't realize it's like, who I am and then when things were not going well, I went back to doing that, and then it went much better. Mm-hmm. So I do a lot of variety. I like variety. Mm-hmm. So it's good. 

J.R.: Yeah. 

Ramy: And then the other question you were asking about- Studying

oh, insights to studying. Yeah, yeah. I didn't really sit and think about, like, how I retain knowledge. And really analyze what makes me remember something? What makes me forget something? What things am I having a hard time understanding? What things are easier for me? And then figuring out those patterns.

So I learned early on that I had to write everything down. So I would write everything down. Mm. Whereas at that time everyone had laptops and you would use your computer, and I [00:29:00] would print out the notes, I'd highlight them, I'd write it over and over again, and that's how I memorized. And I would speak out loud to myself.

I'm a... I learned I was a verbal processor, which is probably why I talk so much, you know? I talk out loud and that's how I figure things out. I'm not good at keeping it in my brain. So in learning in the same way, if I'll like, talk to the wall and just be like, "Oh, this is what's happening," and I will talk about the, how the blood courses through the body or, like, how this disease happens and this medication, how it works, and I was able to memorize it a lot better.

So once I figured that out, it was much easier. 

J.R.: Okay. All right. So now three, three parts, three next questions are, what are your board certifications or specialties? Again, someone who does, knows nothing about medicine, I'm curious about that. Two, advice for people who are on similar tracks where they wanna, they think they wanna be a doctor, go to medical school, et cetera? Any general advice there? And then we can loop it back after that to the whole career advice, like how to figure out 

Ramy: Well, I, my first [00:30:00] board certification was internal medicine, so that is generally, like I think of it as like organs, how organs work.

Your body has like infections, bleeding things, just kind of more systemic things in your body. So they're usually the ones that are in the hospital taking care of you if you have like a kidney injury or you have a pneumonia or you have... You know, most things you're in a hospital for, an internist will be helping you with that.

It's a lot of numbers. I love numbers. Mm. I love numbers, I love data points. It's a lot of interpreting blood tests, like all that stuff. So that was the first one. That's kind of the, the stepping stone, the entry. That's the residency. Then after that, I specialized into pulmonary and critical care. So lung doctor, and then taking care of people in the intensive care unit.

So that was like a two-in-one kind of fellowship. That was three years, so that brings it to three. And then the last one that I have w- is hospice and palliative care. So I'm a palliative care physician, which means that I focus on providing support, holistic [00:31:00] support for patients suffering from serious illness.

So the idea is that you came to med school to help people, and then as you start being a doctor, you kind of feel like, "You know, maybe I'm not really helping people as much," when you focus on just the lungs or just this. And palliative care really focuses on, "Hey, you have this disease and it's affecting your life.

It's affecting your life physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, psychologically, socially, all these things, and we want to help you address all that suffering in all those different domains." Um, We get training on communication, so learning how to have like serious illness communication so that people not only receive the information you're giving them, but they can interpret it in a way that makes sense to them, and they can take that information and do something with it.

We are really good at helping people figure out, like what's important to them, what values, like drive their lives, and a lot of times people don't think about that, you know? You ask somebody on the street, "Hey, [00:32:00] what's your pillar? Like what drives you?" And like people don't really know what to say too much.

So helping them figuring that out, and then tailoring everything we're doing towards those values. So that's what I do most of the time every day for people with like chronic organ failures and chronic lung disease and chronic kidney failure and heart failure, and all these things. And then the other part of it is really focusing on end of life and helping people kind of plan for the future plan for what things may be like, make decisions about continuing treatment or not continuing treatment if they wanna focus on their quality of life- Mm

and then helping people die with dignity. And everything that comes with that, the existential distress, the social distress the fear the pain, like all of these things, that's what my last fellowship was. And then you mix it all together, and then I have like some days I'm a pulmonologist, some days I do things in the ICU, and some days I am just doing palliative care and listening to people talk about their lives, you know?

J.R.: I was about to ask, how does that manifest in like your [00:33:00] day-to-day? You have these specialties- 

Ramy: Mm ... 

J.R.: you just get pulled in all directions. How do you figure out what you're doing that day, like- 

Ramy: Yeah Yeah. Well Mondays I'm a pulmonologist. 

J.R.: Oh, okay, so it is by day. 

Ramy: Yeah, so that day- Oh, 

J.R.: interesting

Ramy: I have my pulmonary clinic and I see patients in pulm, and it's really fun 'cause they get better and I get to give them inhalers, and we get to look at their CT scans, and I get to show them what their lungs look like, and it's... That, it's like, it's fun. You know, they get to get better and sometimes I'm like, "Cool, I don't need to see you anymore, you're doing well."

J.R.: Yeah. 

Ramy: Other days I do um, palliative care. So I have my clinic in palliative care. I take care of people who have, you know, cancer symptoms or they're in pain from whatever, or just helping them plan what their life is gonna look like 'cause they got diagnosed with a bad neurologic disease that's gonna progress and doing that.

And that's fun too, 'cause I get to explain things to people. And, you know, it's... I think people feel like my job is so sad, but like, it's really beautiful to see these things. Mm. And you get to see so much love and care that people have for one another that you don't get to see out in the street. [00:34:00] And I feel very privileged and honored to be a part of that, and I get a front row seat to that, and it helps me really see the world in a much like, better light, despite like, dealing with dying every day, you know?

And then other days I do... i'm one of the assistant program directors for one of the fellowships, so I do academic things, and I do lectures and I teach things and, you know, that's kind of where it is. And then there's weeks where I'm just inpatient, I'm in the hospital taking care of people who are admitted or staying overnight, and so I just do that for the whole week.

And so it just kind of flips back and forth depending on what's going on. 

J.R.: Mm. That's cool. That sounds like very Ramy, just- Jumping around ... lots of variety, jumping around. Yeah. You could do a little bit here, a little bit there. That's pretty cool. 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: So now I wanna go back to the, any advice for medical school, and then we can loop around to any career advice or life advice.

Yeah. How to figure that out. 

Ramy: I think for medical school I always tell people if they're applying to learn how they learn, and really focus on it, even in college. B- even if they don't need it, 'cause they're doing well, to really learn how to do it. And then to [00:35:00] find what drives their joy. What parts of your work bring you joy, and identify that stuff early 'cause that helps you figure out what you wanna do.

Work is hard, and work is work, and there are days where you don't wanna work and you want to be on the beach instead. But you who... If you gravitate towards the things that you like and you find out what that is unique to you, then you can find your path in medicine that you enjoy and you don't get burnt out.

Um, And I think that's true for most things in life, you know? But it's also a skill to learn what you like. You know, that doesn't come easy. You don't just say "Oh, I like this." What do you like about it? You know, why do you like this? Why does this make you feel good? And try to create that in different things that you're doing.

J.R.: It makes a lot of sense, especially if you're the type similar to Ramy, who you're open to trying and exploring and being exposed to all these things. You're more likely to hit on those things that spark joy within you, things that you enjoy, that you gravitate towards. And I'm a big proponent of if you don't know what your purpose meaning is, [00:36:00] then it's just to improve your self-awareness with reflection, with doing different things, seeing how the world bounces off of you, and how you react to that, and I think you can't go wrong with that.

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: I think one of the biggest considerations as I talk to a lot of people who early in their career, maybe in college or even younger than that, is the economy, the job market, but also college and school and what I want to... I enjoy doing this art thing, but also I need to pay the bills. Yeah. And obviously those are all real considerations.

How... What advice, specific sort of things would you tell someone in that situation where maybe they do have an idea of something they might wanna do, or they have all these interests on the side or whatever. Any general thoughts? 

Ramy: I think you just have to be honest with yourself about what you can actually do and what you can't.

And listen to your elders. Listen to people that are, have been doing this for a while. Learn from them what parts were hard for, what parts were surprising to them. You know, I think also part of the flip side of finding the things that bring you joy is also [00:37:00] avoiding the things that you hate.

And sometimes, like for me, I like a lot of things. I think if I had a path to be a lawyer, I would've liked being a lawyer. If I had a path to be like a therapist, like I would've loved being a therapist. I like a lot of things. This is... i'm blessed in that way, but there are certain things that I do not like, and there's certain things that make me feel like, "I just really d- I don't like that feeling."

I get tense. And it was more insightful for me to avoid those things than it was to chase the things that I found joy in. So it's also looking at that side and thinking like, what's your life gonna look like in five, 10 years when you're doing this on the daily, and does that feel good? You know, are there enough parts about that that fill your cup?

And you limit some of the things that drain it so that you stay generally afloat. 

J.R.: I love that a lot. That is, that's really insightful. Um, All right. Any other last lingering thoughts on that? Otherwise, I wanna ask you about travel before we go to rapid fire. 

Ramy: I think that's it. Yeah. 

J.R.: Yeah.

That was a- [00:38:00] Anything 

Ramy: come to mind ... 

J.R.: that was a masterclass. Just rewind the last 15 minutes. That was really good. Or at least I will.

All right. So travel, I know you're a big travel enthusiast. Correct me if I'm wrong. I wanted to ask- How did you get into traveling? What role does it play in your life?

What's your mindset on traveling, just in general? 

Ramy: I love traveling so much. It shows, clearly. I love, I love getting on a plane and just, like, going somewhere. It's- 

J.R.: Yeah ... 

Ramy: it's the thing that I will spend money on and not feel like, "Oh, I gotta save it." Yeah. Like, no, that's not what saving money is for. I grew up like, going to Egypt every year when I was younger.

My family's from Egypt. Um, And so I would go, and I'd spend months there, and I'd see people. And my family, you know, my, my grandma was a French teacher. My Eng- grandpa was an English teacher. My dad spoke like, five languages. He lived all over Europe. So travel was kind of built into the lore of me growing up, you know?

We'd see pictures. My dad was in France. My dad was here. And I loved seeing how different people do things, you know? It's like, "Whoa, this is what the library in Egypt looks like? Amazing. It's so different than ours." And, you know, so I, I always [00:39:00] enjoyed it. Then when I got older um, like, I always liked traveling.

It was always fun to like, eat the food and try the things. But um, in In, I think it was, like, 2015 um, it's like my last year of med school. I was supposed to go to Japan with my cousin, and he backed out. Not... It wasn't his fault. He like, just couldn't go anymore 'cause he was in school and he was studying.

And so it was a week before, and I was stuck between going to Japan by myself for two weeks or not at all. 

J.R.: Let's guess. 

Ramy: I went. But I was terrified. Wow. I was so scared. I didn't speak any Japanese. I'd never traveled alone. I mean, I did, I would go to Egypt by myself, but I'd made that trip a long time.

Right, right. I speak Arabic. I have family there. It's okay. Yeah. You know, I'd go to Paris for a couple days on the way to Egypt. Again, I spoke French. I knew P- I didn't speak very good French, but I understood it. I had people there. I'd been there before. It was fine. But Japan was completely alone, and it was, like, towards the end of med school, so I'd seen some things, you know?

So there was a little darkness in [00:40:00] my life. And it was like, "What am I gonna do with my thoughts for the two weeks?" And I learned how to find the things that I like. You know, before that, it was like, "Oh, I love food." I'm like, what about eating food do I like? Or what about trying new foods do I like?

What about walking through this area do I enjoy? What things do I not enjoy? And it was a actual like, pretty hard trip um, mentally just trying to like, be with myself for two weeks. And no one spoke English. They don't need to speak English. They... Why? You know, and I was like, I'm not talking to anybody.

I'm by myself. I'm staying in hostels. I'm having to entertain myself for two weeks with nothing else to do. I'm not studying. I'm not doing work. It's just a one thing. And I learned so much about myself during that trip, and I felt so free, and I like, just loved it, that I just like, kept going on solo trips.

I would... Took like, two week solo trips every year for a while after that. Even like, l- two summers ago, I went to Norway by myself for two, two weeks. And now I have I have people to go on trips with [00:41:00] and, you know, but I still like to travel alone sometimes. It just... That's kinda freeing in a way.

Mm-hmm. So I've, I've always loved doing that. I am so happy when my friends travel. Like, I think I keep Instagram just so I can see people travel. And I get so excited- 

J.R.: Yeah ... 

Ramy: if I know a friend of mine is gonna be in Japan or they're gonna be in Sweden, I'm just like, "Oh, this person's here this week."

And all week I'm hype. Looking at their posts. I'm commenting on everything. Yeah. Probably super annoying, but- ... I just love talking to people about it helping them figure out what to do, what not to do. It's fun. 

J.R.: I like that. 

Ramy: Yeah. Gives me something to look forward to. 

J.R.: Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

Like, living vicariously through your friends as well. Yeah. Um, So really quick, favorite places to travel or f- favorite places you've traveled? And then I really wanna ask, as a solo traveler, maybe a lot of people, maybe some people aspire to do that as well, any good advice you wanna throw out there for solo traveling?

Ramy: I think, um- Set yourself up for success. Don't go to a place where you're just gonna be, like, outside and it's just [00:42:00] nature for two weeks alone with no one to talk to. There's gonna be times where you have to like, find stimulation for yourself. Mm-hmm. So being in a city, I think, is helpful. Um, Figure out the language barrier.

Do you want to not be talked to for two weeks, or do you wanna have something where like, you know, there is some people? I think for solo traveling, for me, it was helpful to, to move around. So I'd stay a couple days in Edinburgh, then I'd go a couple days to Glasgow. I'd go over here where they make, you know, the scotch I like.

And you know, you set yourself up for things to kinda keep you going. Mm-hmm. Um, I'm not so good at the, "Let me just sit in this cabin on the beach for two weeks alone." Mm-hmm. I can't stay with my thoughts for that long. 

J.R.: Yeah. 

Ramy: And I think just like, be open to not making the most of it every moment all the time.

Oh. 

J.R.: You 

Ramy: know? 

J.R.: Like squeezing every ounce of 

Ramy: it. Yeah. There's there's gonna be days where you just wanna stay in the hotel, or you just wanna stay in the hostel 'cause you're just kinda in your head, and you're, like, kind of tired, and you don't really wanna go to the museum, and you're, you've been walking.

It's okay to chill and not do anything that day. Stay in your room and just watch Netflix, just like you do at home. [00:43:00] Don't feel bad, you know? There's days where it's okay to get a burger, you know? If you miss food that you like at home like, it's okay. Um, So I think that is kinda like the advice that I give people, that you're not gonna love it every time, and there's gonna be places...

I hope there are places you go and you don't like. You know? If you go and you love everything, then you're not being bold enough. If you try everything and you love everything, then you're not trying enough things. I love when I try something and I'm like, "Oh, no, no, never again." Yeah.

That's a fun experience, you know? Yeah. You 

J.R.: have a story now. You're like- 

Ramy: Yeah ... "

J.R.: Yeah, this thing, did not like it." 

Ramy: Yes. And to go to a city and to say, "I don't ever wanna come back here again"- Yeah ... that's so cool. 

J.R.: Yeah, yeah. 

Ramy: So it's just leaving space for that, I'd say, you know. I th- I think chasing that too is nice.

Favorite places to travel. I'm on a Japan kick recently.

I've gone like four times now and I'm planning my fifth trip. 

J.R.: Same. Yeah. I'm already planning my next one too. 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: I 

Ramy: love it. And I feel bad about that, 'cause I know, like I talk to people who are Japanese and their families are there and like I [00:44:00] don't think the tourists are really wanted all the time, you know?

Yeah. And so it's like you have to find a way to do it in a way that is like sustainable, doesn't take away from the people that live there's experience. Right. So we go to the smaller areas where I hear, you know, they're we're wanted. I try to avoid Tokyo. I try to avoid things. I like don't...

I'm not like walking around neighborhoods late at night where people are living even though it's cute. Like I just feel like I don't wanna take away- ... from their comfort. I'm trying to learn Japanese. I'm taking like in-person Japanese classes- That's cool ... to just be a little more like integrated and not depend on them doing everything.

I love Paris. It was like the first place I was ever like traveling alone like for a couple days and it was just always, like will always have that place for me. I love Scandinavia. Norway's wonderful. New Zealand I've always thought about oh, if I go and I like move somewhere I'd go to New Zealand.

And you know, thinking about it realistically, like I don't really know that I would leave here, you know? Yeah. I think it's hard to set up life anywhere and it's easy to romanticize that, but- Of course ... New Zealand was [00:45:00] definitely one of my favorites. 

J.R.: Yeah. New Zealand is on my list. I've never been.

Ramy: So beautiful.

Oh my God. 

J.R.: Yeah, I bet. Do you have a um, a bucket list of places you have t- you want to go but haven't gone yet? 

Ramy: I've always wanted to go to Ethiopia. 

J.R.: Oh, yeah? 

Ramy: They have the... So I'm Coptic Catholic, so it's like a, you know, it follows the Roman Catholic Church and the Pope in Rome, but we have our own kind of rites, and we do things in, in the Coptic, kind of like the, the ancient Egyptian language.

Not ancient like pyramid ancient, but the ancient after that. 

J.R.: Okay. 

Ramy: Like, around Jesus' time, like we would speak in Coptic. And- Jesus 

J.R.: ancient. 

Ramy: Yeah, Jesus ancient, not pyramids ancient. PyRamyds ancient. Um, And the sister church of this church is the Ethiopian Church. Oh. So a lot of the iconography in our churches look very similar.

A lot of their language like, sounds very similar, and they have these underground churches, 'cause they were prosecuted back then for being Christian. And they would like, dig it underground, so if you look around the horizon, you won't see anything. And I've just always wanted to go [00:46:00] visit them.

I just... It would always be so cool. The food is great, and the people seem so cool, and they just... We always joke that Ethiopians are like our cousins. Mm. So, like, I've always wanted to go. But there was, like, a war a couple years ago, and like, it just doesn't feel like the best time to just go gallivant around the country on my own- 

J.R.: Yeah

Ramy: for my mom's anxiety. 

J.R.: Yeah, right, right. 

Ramy: You know? 

J.R.: Always gotta consider the mom. 

Ramy: Yeah. But that's something that's on my bucket list, that also I can't find anyone who also wants to join me, 

J.R.: so... Oh, okay. I see, I see. That's cool. Okay, cool. Yeah, you answered all of my questions, and I think we're right at time for rapid fire.

Any last thoughts on travel you wanna throw out there? 

Ramy: No, 

J.R.: just- Aside from do it, and then- Just do it ... post stories and 

Ramy: tag 

J.R.: Ramy. 

Ramy: Yeah. Just do it. So we can- Yeah, you don't have to tag me. You don't have to do anything. You don't even have to tell me about it, 

honestly. @

J.R.: Ramy. We'll, we'll send his Instagram in the link so you can just always tag him in your post.

Yeah. Cool. All right, let's move to rapid fire then. 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: Let's see. First question, billboard question: if you could put up a sign for millions of people to see, what would it say? Metaphorical, non-commercial. 

Ramy: I think something along the [00:47:00] lines of like, everyone's doing the best with what they got. Mm. I think if we understood that- Yeah

things would be a lot easier. I think that's what I would do. Love that. Yeah. 

J.R.: Like it. What is one of the hardest challenges you faced, and what did you learn from it?

Ramy: I think when I was younger realizing that not everybody thought like me and learning, and that's I think where the philosophy thing came in, 'cause I really wanted to understand why everybody like, felt differently. 'Cause in my mind it makes sense how I think, and realizing that that's not true for everybody, which means I can't control what other people do.

I can't control how other people see. And control and lack of control has been a big thing in my life, so I think realizing I have no real control has been a hard thing, but a necessary thing to learn. 

J.R.: Mm. Quick tangent. Do you know what your Myers-Briggs is, personality? 

Ramy: I'm an E. 

J.R.: Okay, I knew you were.

Ramy: That's it. 

J.R.: Yeah. 

Ramy: Yeah. And I say that 'cause we took the test in med school, and they give you percentages. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like 93% extroverted. 

J.R.: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Ramy: And the rest of them I was, like, 59 per- or 51% or 49% the other three. So I don't [00:48:00] think I'm very... I'm pretty neutral on the other three.

J.R.: Oh, interesting. Okay. 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: They're like N, and S, and- 

Ramy: Yeah ... and P. Like, I could be any of those, 'cause I'm just in the middle. 

J.R.: Interesting. 

Ramy: So I just say I'm E. 

J.R.: Cool, cool, cool. You're like E and then everything else. 

Ramy: Yeah, E and everything else I 

J.R.: could be. Oh. Well, that's, actually that checks out. Ramy has all the letters.

He's... He likes everything, so give him all the letters.

If you could redo one thing, what would you do differently?

Ramy: I think I would redo dancing, but like, bring with it the confidence. I think I would enjoy it a lot more. And not have it be so like, "Oh, my worth as a person depends on what pieces I'm in, and like, who put me in this," and like, "Oh, I'm not attractive 'cause I don't look like this person." You know, all that stuff, but that's kind of coming of age, and so I think that was gonna happen anyway.

Right. But I think it would be fun to do dancing again and be comfortable in my own skin. 

J.R.: Right. 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: That... It's, it's crazy you say that because mindset really does change your pers- your [00:49:00] experience of something. Yeah. And so just going in knowing who you are and being confident will vastly change your experience of something like- Yeah

dance, right? 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: I like that. 

Ramy: But then I don't think it would've been as meaningful for us- Sure, of course ... if we felt that way. 

J.R.: Yeah. '

Ramy: Cause then it wouldn't be so instrumental in our growth. 

J.R.: Yeah. You 

Ramy: know? '

J.R.: Cause we're discovering ourselves as 

Ramy: we're 

J.R.: doing that. Yeah. 

Ramy: So it's- So maybe I wouldn't change it, but, you know.

J.R.: It's a good answer. Yeah. It's a good answer. 

Ramy: Yeah. Thank 

J.R.: you. 

If you could give your younger self advice, what would it be? If we haven't already touched on it. 

Ramy: I think the, the lean into the things that make you different and stop trying to kinda be like everybody else. That sounds so cliche, but I think just really knowing that and l- being curious about yourself, just like I was curious about everybody else, be curious about myself instead of comparing the things I learn about everyone else to "Oh, I'm wrong for this," you know?

I think that would be, that would be good. I would've had a different upbringing, you know? 

J.R.: Of course. In the last few years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has changed your life the most? 

Ramy: I was talking to somebody and they said [00:50:00] something like um, "Set everything up to like, receive you in the best way."

Mm. So, I was like, "What does that mean?" It's like, you know, prepare for your future uh, so that it's easiest for you. And like, also, like, when you go to sleep at night, set everything up in your apartment well so that when you wake up in the morning the room is ready to receive you. You're like a fresh start.

And that has a- and kind of prepping for those things and thinking about like, future Ramy- 

... 

Ramy: And past Ramy. I think I was talking to Alex, and I was like, "Your two best friends should be, like, past Ramy and, like, future Ramy." Have a lot of grace and empathy for your past and don't like, tell yourself you did all these horrible things.

And then also do something for your future self. And like, that kind of goes along the same path of like, preparing things to receive you in the best way. That has helped me just like, leave the house 15 minutes earlier so I'm not stressed- 

... 

Ramy: Coming here. Like, Preparing for work in the morning so I'm not like, "Oh my God, I can't find my keys."

That has made a big difference and has made life a lot more enjoyable, I think. 

Yeah. 

J.R.: I love that. It's like taking care of your future self. 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: The [00:51:00] f- the future part, right? 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: I love that answer, and my head was thinking, man, if I had to get through 86 episodes to get to that answer, it was worth it.

Because I, I really liked... I don't know how to ex- I'm being a little bit, like- ... like, a little dramatic, but I really like that answer. Yeah.

What is a... Were there any significant events in your life that shifted the way you see things, if at all? 

Ramy: I think like now I'm going through a big shift. I think like starting with the pandemic and like, you know, I was like an intensive care physician like in the pandemic, and I was like in the thick of it.

And it was probably more traumatic than I'm willing to like admit to myself yet. But I think it really made me think about the finality of things and the fact that we really don't have any control. Again, control freak, I like to be in control. Mm. Um, And that anything can go at any time. Um, But in less of a like, "Oh my God, it's so sad," and more of like, you know...

I think the thing I've been trying to teach myself is like I'm so worried that [00:52:00] all these things are gonna come and take away the stability I have, and take away the comfort, and the predictability, and like all these good things I have, and I'm spending more time worrying about these things that may not happen, and less time actually enjoying the things I'm so afraid to lose.

And so I'm trying to be very intentional about what am I doing today to enjoy these things I'm so afraid to l- to lose? And part of that is like moving back home, I was in San Francisco for a year, I was in Denver for a bit, so I can be here when my nieces and nephews are growing up, and go to people's engagements, and be there for their birthdays, and go there for...

Just take the walk outside with somebody or just by myself, and like enjoy my parents when I have free time and just go at home and like help them clean the garage if that's what they want. Whatever it is, and I'm almost using my like really intense anxiety to like fuel the shift to enjoy life a little bit more to the fullest, you know?

And I think I, I deal with so much death and dying, and I talk to people about them dying every day, and to just like [00:53:00] look somebody in the face and say, "Hey, I don't think you have more than a few months left to live," and like what am I doing to make sure that I'm en- I'm enjoying the time? 'Cause someone could look at me like that in a couple weeks, you know?

I don't know. Mm. And it becomes this thing of fear that like I could die at any moment, but like it shouldn't fuel your anxiety, it should fuel your like- I don't know, your joy of life and the vitality you attack it with. 

J.R.: Yeah. So 

Ramy: I'm trying to do that. 

J.R.: I like that. It's like that whole idea of let's say you live forever, where's the urgency?

Where's the desire to live life? 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: That sort of thing. I like that a lot. Um, I was gonna say, so the control thing, you mentioned that, but also you have this strong desire for variety and all this other stuff. Maybe those aren't really antithetical, but I'm thinking of people who are more like you wanna control everything, but someone who's like, very spontaneous, I guess, versus more organized.

How do you reconcile those different pieces, I guess? 

Ramy: It's kind of like the [00:54:00] type A person versus- Yeah ... the type B person. Yeah. I'm very like, I think through everything, and everything that could go wrong, I've thought about it and prepared for it, or at least I try to. So the things that I have no control over, I can't prepare for them, and I'll try and think of all these crazy things, and I just can't do it.

So the control freak comes in the having expectations and not um, you know, always being prepared, and I feel like I've grown up being a protector for people, so, I, I want to protect my people. And then there's the other people who are just kind of do whatever and don't care, and they're just not thinking through all these things.

They live just as long as everyone else. Yeah. They have just as much fun, if not more than other people. And so it's the what's authentic to me. What's my anxiety making me do, and then what's just normal Ramy behavior? Oh. And learning from people. A lot of my friends are type B, and it doesn't drive me crazy anymore.

I'm like, oh, I could be... It doesn't matter. Yeah. It's fine. The dishes could stay in the sink tonight. It's not a big deal. You know? Or we can just go somewhere and not know how we're gonna get there. If we miss our flight, we miss our [00:55:00] flight. That one's hard for me, but, like- ... you know. Got it. Trying to learn from them a little bit and be less controlly 'cause I don't really have that much control anyway.

J.R.: Right. Control is just an illusion. 

Ramy: It's just an illusion. 

J.R.: I like it. How do you define success? 

Ramy: Hm. I think if you are having a lot of meaningful moments in your life, I feel that that is successful, and I say that as opposed to saying if you have a lot of joy in your life. 

J.R.: Hm. 

Ramy: I think joy's very important, but it's only part of life.

There needs to be pain. There needs to be sadness because that means there's also great joy and happiness and love. So you need to have a lot of meaningful moments, and I think that's successful, whether that in your work, or you have it in your life, you have it in your social uh, circles, you have it by yourself.

Like, I think that is successful. 

J.R.: I like that. Meaning, right? 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: What's something you've been pondering recently or something that you often think about deeply? 

Ramy: Somebody told me, actually it was last week, [00:56:00] they were like I was talking about the stuff I'm anxious about and they were like, "How arrogant it is of us to be anxious about world events.

Like how, how conceited are we to worry about this?" And it really like struck me. I was like, "What do you mean? It's 'cause I care about the world and I care about what happens to people." And it kinda springs into this thing of like you are so insignificant when it comes to these things. That is a little bit freeing in a way, you know?

Like I worry about the war, I worry about AI taking people's jobs, I worry about climate change, I worry about Ebola, and what am I doing to help those things? Like I worry about it as if I can influence it. And like there's a point where you can be aware and thoughtful about it, and you can donate money, you can do these things and go to rallies, but like I can't do anything for that.

So let me free myself of that responsibility, you know? I can still care without trying to be in charge, you know? So I've been trying to grapple with that 'cause wow, I'm really arrogant to be so worried, you know, as if I could do something. 

J.R.: As if it's your problem and you can fix it. 

Ramy: Yeah. Or [00:57:00] as if I understand things better than everyone else.

That's true. Yeah. Like why am I looking at the data as if I'm gonna come to a more correct conclusion than everyone else, you know? So trying to use that to build some humility. 

J.R.: I like it. Um, Do you have a favorite hot take or something that you think most people would disagree with, that you think is absolutely true?

Ramy: I believe in using the dishwasher as a dishwasher and not a drying rack.

It saves water, it saves time, I think it's better. And I believe in written calendars. I have I got, this year was the first year in like 15 years I had a written calendar. Life is so much easier. 

J.R.: Yeah. 

Ramy: I've always used Google Calendar and all these things, but like a written calendar, man, it's 

J.R.: It's 

Ramy: really great

J.R.: how, how do you use it? So is it on the walls? Is it on your desk? Like- 

Ramy: No, it comes with me. 

J.R.: Oh, so it's like a notebook. 

Ramy: Yeah, so I write. It's like a notebook. Oh. And I write things in the month, and then things in the day. Okay. And then I check it every day for things I'm supposed to do. 

J.R.: Yeah. 

Ramy: So I'm not thinking about it all the time.

J.R.: Why do you think that changes your experience as opposed to like, a digital format? '

Ramy: Cause I can use it better, 'cause it's in real life. The digital [00:58:00] format doesn't feel real. I can't touch it. 

J.R.: Okay, so, so just the s- not the s- the sensory experience of having- Yeah ... okay, gotcha. 

Ramy: And, like being able to flip through it.

It's here, so I have to look at it. Yeah, yeah. Whereas on my phone, I don't look at it. 

J.R.: Yeah. Interesting. Okay. I understand. 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: Can't relate. I know, I know. I like the digital. 

Ramy: I know. 

J.R.: Because I do flip- Most people can't ... I, no, I neurotically look at my calendar. Like, that's, it's my notes and my calendar that I'm always on- Yeah

I think 90% of the time, but I, I totally get that. 

Ramy: Yeah. 

J.R.: I think there's definitely value in a lot of analog things that we take for granted. 

Ramy: Yeah.

J.R.: Um- I do. I like that. I write notes down. Yeah. I don't use anything on the computer. 

It, It does, though, I would say recommend for the audience to, the act of getting things from your brain into- Yeah

paper or wherever- Yeah ... is very freeing, 'cause now you don't have to think about it, right? 

Ramy: Yeah, yeah. And for me, writing it is one of the ways I learn better. Yeah, of course. So writing it down, I'm gonna remember it better. Yeah. Typing it in my phone feels like I'm texting, and I don't- 

J.R.: And it disappears-

feel the same thing. Yeah ... and then it's a ghost. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Um, Okay, well, we're almost there. So what do you think are some of the differences between how you see yourself versus how others see you?

Ramy: [00:59:00] I just think I'm just doing my best. I don't think I'm anything special. And I think I've been very fortunate that people have always really celebrated me, especially like, becoming a doctor like, through dance scene. Like, People still call me Dr. Ramy. Mm. Like, that is my nickname now. And I don't think that- Dr.

J.R.: Ramy, MD. 

Ramy: And I, I don't think that I did anything special. I don't think I did anything different. I just followed the things I like, just like everyone else does, you know? Yeah, yeah. So to me I'm not that impressed with myself. Not saying everyone's impressed with me, but like- Right ... I, I feel a lot of pride in my friends when they think about me and they talk about me, and that's really nice, but I wish that they knew I felt the same way about them or they felt the same way about themselves, 'cause we're all just doing our best, you know?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

J.R.: I like that. You know, it's, uh... i'm gonna butcher this quote, but it's like, "Some people are so poor, all they have is money." And I think like, having the admiration of the people that you care about is quite a thing, you know? Dr. Ramy, MD. 

Ramy: Oh, [01:00:00] God. 

J.R.: Last one.

Favorite recent purchase in the 50 to $100 range, or relatively cheap, that has impacted your life the most? 

Ramy: It's that calendar. Oh, there we go. That paper calendar. 

J.R.: Okay. Is there a specific type, brand, or just whatever? 

Ramy: Oh, I just got whatever was- Gotcha ... was cheap. It was, like, Amazon, $8. Like, I just- Perfect

that has helped me. 

J.R.: All right. I'll Amazon affiliate link whatever calendar I find and be like, "Dr. Ramy, MD recommends it." 

Ramy: No, no, go buy 

J.R.: it 

Ramy: from 

J.R.: another 

Ramy: store. 

J.R.: It's 

Ramy: probably better. 

J.R.: Yeah, yeah. It, it definitely is. Def- I just wanted an affiliate commission for 10 cents. You 

Ramy: deserve it. 

J.R.: Thank you. Um, All right.

You made it to the end of the rapid fire. Thank you so much. Woo, we did it. We'll, We'll do ending questions. So we always end with gratitude. Shout out to my mom for teaching me this. Mm-hmm. Ramy, what are you grateful for? 

Ramy: I'm grateful for my community. I'm grateful for the people around me that give me things to strive for and things to be excited about and things to be sad about.

And, you know, I think life would not be what it is without the people I'm with. And I, I keep realizing that over and over again. I 

J.R.: like it. Any final ask from the [01:01:00] audience or any final takeaways you'd like them to have from this conversation?

Ramy: No, not really. I think I've said everything else. I'm just really thankful that, you know, you asked me to be here and to be part of this, and it feels really nice to kind of reconnect with you, and I'm excited to see where you keep going with this. 

J.R.: Thank you. Likewise. I appreciate it, and um, happy to have you here.

Um, I assume where they can find you, social media, I'll link it in the description. Yeah. But is that the best place for them to find you, or should they stalk you, email you, LinkedIn? 

Ramy: I think that Instagram's the only thing that I really have. I don't even think I have a LinkedIn account. 

J.R.: Okay. 

Ramy: I might, but I don't use it.

J.R.: Yeah, 

Ramy: yeah, yeah. So I think that's the best way. 

J.R.: Perfect. Okay. All right, so well, thank you again, Ramy. We'll wrap this up. I really appreciate you. Thank you. Honestly I'm not glazing you, but I- I could listen to you talk for three hours. And so I think it's good we have this sort of one-hour thing.

We can protect your time. So I really appreciate you. For your sake. That's helpful. Yeah. For, for my... Yeah, for, for all of our sakes, it's only one hour, but... So thank you again. Um, I'm gonna be re-listening to this a lot. I think you dropped a lot of nuggets of wisdom, and so I appreciate that. 

Ramy: Thank you.

J.R.: And we'll do our [01:02:00] final sign-off. So thank you guys for being here. I really appreciate it. Be sure to like, follow, subscribe, all that good stuff. Leave us five stars on whatever platform you're listening to. Leave us, especially Ramy, love in the comments below. If you are traveling, tag Ramy. Oh, yeah. We'll link his Instagram.

Ramy: Even if I don't know you. 

J.R.: Even if he doesn't know you, just tag him- ... and he'll live vicariously through your travels. Yeah. Oh. And a reminder to always be kind to other people, especially yourself, and remember that you can always learn something from someone if you take the time to listen. So thank you guys for being here.

Ramy: Thank you.