One Thousand Gurus Podcast

#40: Vanessa Barrios - Authenticity in Content Creation, Dealing with Haters, and Toxic Relationships

J.R. Yonocruz Season 4 Episode 10

Vanessa Barrios shares her journey from an aspiring influencer to a dynamic content creator with 300,000 followers across platforms, showing how authenticity and consistency have been key to her success.

• Started content creation after a life-changing conversation with friends in an Olive Garden parking lot
• Prioritizes authenticity in her content while balancing the persona her audience knows
• Taking breaks when experiencing burnout to compile content and reset mentally
• Found a supportive community to help manage content demands
• Navigated the transition from toxic to healthy relationships through self-reflection
• Believes in prioritizing yourself first as the foundation of healthy relationships
• Approaches comedy content by being herself and posting what she personally finds funny

If you want to start creating content, Vanessa's advice is simple: just do it, prioritize yourself, and don't be afraid to take that first step.

Guest bio:
Vanessa Barrios is a dynamic social media content creator who has spent the past two years building an engaged community of over 300,000 followers across platforms. A recent graduate from San Diego State University with a Bachelor's in Business Administration, Vanessa is not only a rising Twitch streamer and aspiring ASMRtist but also a dedicated yogi. Her content blends humor, comfort, and creativity, offering a refreshing presence in the digital world. Whether she’s live on Twitch, creating relaxing ASMR videos, or sharing moments from her wellness journey, Vanessa brings authenticity and passion to everything she does.

Links/resources:



One Thousand Gurus Podcast:
Everyone has a compelling story to tell with insights we can all be inspired by. J.R. Yonocruz is a self-improvement blogger, relationship coach, and serial hobbyist with a passion for learning. He interviews unique guests from various fields to distill the strategies, habits, and mindsets we can use in our own lives. Each “guru” has a chance to give the audience a peek into a new world.

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YouTube: One Thousand Gurus Podcast
Email: onethousandgurus@gmail.com

J.R.:

Hello everyone, my lovely listeners, Welcome back to another fun episode of 1000 Gurus with me, your host, JR Yonacruz. So today's guest is Vanessa Barrios. Vanessa is a dynamic social media content creator who has spent the last two years building an engaged community of over 300,000 followers across platforms. A recent graduate of San Diego State University with a bachelor's in business administration, Vanessa is not only a rising Twitch streamer and aspiring ASMRtist, but also a dedicated yogi. Her content blends humor, comfort and creativity, offering a refreshing presence in the digital world. Whether she's live on Twitch, creating relaxing ASMR videos or sharing moments from her wellness journey, Vanessa brings authenticity and passion to everything she does.

J.R.:

It was so much fun to have Vanessa on the show. We actually never talked before this recording, as we briefly met during Ozzy's first recording. She has such a lively and energetic personality pretty much exactly what you see in her videos, which is awesome, and it's great because we talked about authenticity and content creation a lot. We chatted about her journey to eventually becoming a content creator, breaking into the field, how to manage our well-being and mental health, and how to cultivate healthy relationships and or leave toxic ones. It was such an enjoyable conversation. I'm sure you'll agree as you listen to our silly banter back and forth, even despite us only being barely acquaintances. So, without further ado, hope you enjoy this episode with Vanessa Barrios. Hello everyone and welcome back to 1000 Gurus. Please welcome my guest, Vanessa.

Vanessa:

Hey, what's up.

J.R.:

What's up, JR? How are you? I'm good. How are you?

Vanessa:

I'm really really good, Really nervous right now, yeah, no, you'll be great.

J.R.:

I have this inside joke where it's like it seems like most of my guests are either Filipino email content creators or gay dudes, and so you probably fit a couple of those.

Vanessa:

Perfect, I fit so many categories right there.

J.R.:

So yeah, I think you're in good company. Okay good, but yeah. So, yeah, you and Hazi came up the same time, so these are separate weeks, but same day we're obviously recording. So you guys came up from SD and then, like we talked about about the traffic was crazy, but happy you'll be here and happy to you know no, I'm so excited I'm like channeling my billy eilish interviewing have you seen that my boyfriend was just telling me about it, which is like a specific every single year she'll do an interview to update her life oh, I'm like I'm her right now.

Vanessa:

You are.

J.R.:

Why not? That's cool, all right. So let me go into how I know you. So the guests already have your bio and like your links and everything. So obviously I know that you're Hazi. We actually just met on his first episode recording and I like I was telling you off screen or a camera that I randomly came across one of your videos which we will show but and then afterwards I saw the video, it was funny. And then afterwards I interviewed Hazi and then I was looking at your Instagram and I was like wait, I feel like I've seen her before.

Vanessa:

And I was like oh, I definitely saw her before I was in your workplace.

J.R.:

You were in my workplace Exactly, and so I thought it was hilarious and I love the content that you put out. It's super funny and I don't know this but persona and like what you put out there, because sometimes it's okay, this is exactly who I am, but sometimes it's a character right and so people do different ways. So I'm curious to see what it's like. But let's show this video, so let me, if you don't mind throwing it up this is the one on the side of the road after my yoga class who hurt this woman?

Vanessa:

my yoga instructor did a bit early for me the look of trauma just vomited and it wasn't pink, so I like the little teardrop.

J.R.:

I don't really know how this day's gonna go going through it not looking too good okay so okay. So so this is a real class, right it was. Yeah, so what is it exactly?

Vanessa:

It was a yoga sculpt class. I don't know if you've heard of hot Pilates.

J.R.:

Okay, yeah.

Vanessa:

Have you ever taken a Pilates?

J.R.:

class. I know what it looks like, but I have not taken one.

Vanessa:

Well, it's very intense, small movements to sculpt your body, basically, except you're in 90 degree heat, oh my god. And also that night I didn't sleep at all.

J.R.:

The night before.

Vanessa:

Yes, because my boyfriend was on a trip that I wasn't invited to.

J.R.:

That would keep all of us up.

Vanessa:

And I couldn't sleep. So I decided to make myself feel more zen and take a yoga class, and it just drained my whole body.

J.R.:

I was very dehydrated.

Vanessa:

I went home and I took a three-hour nap.

J.R.:

That sounds like a heat stroke combined with dehydration. The lack of sleep and then the intense workout, the heat.

Vanessa:

Yes, I'm surprised I didn't die.

J.R.:

Yeah, you're stronger now after that.

Vanessa:

Oh definitely.

J.R.:

That's crazy. Okay, anything else that you're up to. I know you're doing content creation and all that stuff. What else are you up to?

Vanessa:

This is really funny. I was just talking to Hossie about the timing of this podcast because currently I'm on a break Like I haven't posted in a week, which is really long in the influencer world, because the best thing you can do is post every single day. The best thing you can do is post every single day, especially on tiktok or like short form content, like you need to be on it and I just been really burnt out. I really need a break and even though, like my content, like that, it's very like in the moment and it comes naturally, but lately it's not really coming so natural is this like an artist block, or is it more just like the pressure of having to keep going?

Vanessa:

it's both. Actually, that's exactly what I'm going through right now. I'm trying to figure out, like the big question is this something I really, really want to do, especially actually doing it, because I'm realizing how much work is being put into it and, on top of the amount of work, it's also the consistency of it. I think that's really where I struggle. It's so hard and I'm not going to lie, like there are times when I only post like every other day or every two days and I feel like I'll perform pretty well because I have a fan base. But I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out right now.

J.R.:

Yeah, definitely it's tough.

Vanessa:

Yeah.

J.R.:

Yeah, I feel it. I mean like we were talking about off camera. It's like I had a similar experience, like with my girlfriend and I she was on the show too. So we're talking about that and I think the reason why I don't like do that sort of content anymore is because it burned me out as much. It was fun to do with my girlfriend and see the engagement and make people laugh and enjoy it, but it was like I knew fundamentally that this isn't what makes me happy and so therefore I don't have longevity in it. So it was a lot of fun for a year and a half, but now I'm like okay, let me just do things I know is sustainable, because I, like, truly enjoyed doing it yeah, I respect that yeah, so I know I do enjoy it, though I know I do just gotta figure out the way to make it work so that exactly that what you said.

Vanessa:

It's sustainable, exactly so. That's why I want to break into more long-term, long-form content like, hopefully, youtube yeah, it's always fun my editing is not my thing, that's why.

J.R.:

That's the other thing I'm like I hate editing and this, all the tedious stuff. Yeah, it's such a hassle, especially if it's like editing is my passion. If it's not, yeah, good luck yeah, no, I.

Vanessa:

So I have a youtube channel right now and a couple of my videos have been doing really well, especially the ones that I edit myself, because I do. They're long form and I do have an editor which is my sister by the way there you go. But I get comments where they can tell when it's not me editing it Interesting and they don't not like my sister's editing, but they can tell.

J.R.:

It's a different style, exactly.

Vanessa:

And it's not too far off, but… and so that's the thing Also. And it's not too far off, but, and so that's the thing Also. I want to keep my content authentic, but it's hard, it's really hard.

J.R.:

Definitely You'll figure it out. I know it's one of those things like every journey is always figuring out. Get to a certain point and then you just figure out what works best.

Vanessa:

Yeah. You need to teach me If I had to figure it out, or you need to come here. No, if I had to figure, it out.

J.R.:

We're gonna come here. No, we'll talk about it. Anyways, let's go into the first topic. Origin story influences life trajectory. So, as with all my first time guests, pretty much just to for lack of a better word humanize you. Where did you grow up? What was your career and life aspirations when you were younger? I guess we'll start with that.

Vanessa:

Oh, I love that. So I grew up in San Diego and then also San Francisco. I split my childhood time between there, um, but from a young age I always knew that I wanted to be famous. I don't know, that was like always my thing. I'm Filipino, so I want to be a singer.

Vanessa:

You know that same story of course but I know I can like sing, but I don't know I didn't really pursue that. But I knew I can like sing, but I don't know, I didn't really pursue that. But I knew I wanted to be famous somehow and luckily, influencing came to be during our generation, so that just seemed like my ticket to fame and I'd say I was. I think I was like 20, 2023. And I was with two of my girlfriends in Olive Garden parking lot and we went to go eat the $10 pastas and we were just talking about our life goals and things we wanted to do. And then that conversation is when I decided that I would start influencing, because with those girlfriends specifically, we always talked about what we wanted to do, always talked about it but never did anything. And that conversation really pushed me to be like okay, I'll just do it.

Vanessa:

And literally the next day that's when I started posting on TikTok every single day and I didn't even get that much traction until a month or two, two month and a half in I had like my first viral video, which was I think it got like 200,000, which is a lot, but it's not like that much, but like. After that video blew up, I was like oh my god, this is so. I was like, oh my God, this is so awesome. I'm like validating myself. And yeah, ever since then I just kept posting. I'd say every day.

J.R.:

So then in your I guess in your early twenties, you're like, okay, influencing, we talked about this, goals, and then you finally pulled the trigger. Up until that point, what was your direction? I know you said you wanted to be famous, but like were you pursuing something until that point?

Vanessa:

No I. You wanted to be famous, but like were you pursuing something until that point?

J.R.:

no, that was a mess. I wake up, I eat, I just do whatever no, I literally.

Vanessa:

So I went to community college and, I'm not gonna lie, I was really depressed at that time. I was in a super toxic relationship. I applied to like four-year universities and I got in nowhere and I just thought that was insane because, okay, my GPA wasn't that good, but it was over like a 4.0. But I did fail a lot of my AP tests, so I feel like that's what happened?

J.R.:

What was your major that you're trying to get into? A business, okay, business Gotcha.

Vanessa:

Yeah, and so I actually started a business. I owned a boba shop in Convoy for a year and then things didn't really work out. I realized that a brick and mortar was not for me.

J.R.:

What about it is not for you? I've never owned a business.

Vanessa:

I don't know.

J.R.:

I'm curious.

Vanessa:

So I didn't realize. Obviously, owning a business, there's work that comes along. What that's crazy.

J.R.:

Hot take here Really hot take how much work for this business.

Vanessa:

But I didn't realize how much work was actually there, like all the permits, working with business partners, having like different opinions on things that was the biggest thing and like working with contractors or taking exams to get approved for to sell things and yeah, it was too much so would you say you're entrepreneurial?

J.R.:

I know you do consecration, but would you say, you want to be a business. I did, but you did, and I realized I don't okay, it was like a turning point.

Vanessa:

Yeah, but influencing is nice because you can monetize off of that, but it's not. I'm not gonna lie, it's not the hardest thing, it's not. I have a great respect for people that like run not that this is not an actual business, but like people that run physical brick and mortar businesses. I have so much respect for that. I think the online business is for me.

J.R.:

A little more streamlined and simple.

Vanessa:

Yeah, yeah.

J.R.:

Did you have any major influences growing up that kind of shaped you to who you are today?

Vanessa:

I mean, okay, I don't know if I'm allowed to say his name, but Ryan Higa, I don't want to say his YouTube name.

J.R.:

Oh right, People know who Ryan Higa is.

Vanessa:

I would say Ryan Higa was a huge creator for me that I look up to. He was…. He is still so funny and he was also the most consistent. I don't know if you remember, but he also did like a YouTube content creator game show. Do you remember that? I don't remember he was a judge on that.

J.R.:

Oh, okay.

Vanessa:

And he… I think I do remember, yeah right. It was a long time, like it was in the midst of his fame, I'd say, and like just watching those smaller creators create on a consistent basis and watching that as a young kid I was just like I could do that he's like a role model. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would say, and he's just so funny.

J.R.:

He is.

Vanessa:

He's hilarious. Sometimes I still go back to that green ball video.

J.R.:

Yeah.

Vanessa:

The original one. What is it? The big green ball?

J.R.:

Yeah, yeah, yeah Didn't he remake that video Like recently Not recently, but like an updated one.

Vanessa:

I feel like I saw A big fan.

J.R.:

No, I mean this was also a while ago, but I remember him like that was like one of his first like big videos, the green ball one, but I swear he made like an updated kind of parody of it.

Vanessa:

I need to watch that, unless I'm just like Mandela affecting myself, but I swear he did. Honestly, he's smart if he did.

J.R.:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I respect you. I think similar like his humor is really hilarious. It's like very I don't know ADHD, but also he's fun, like all his puns and stuff. So he's kind of fun like all his puns and stuff. No, I mean same. I think my girlfriend and I have similar humors as him too. I think this is where we got it from.

Vanessa:

Anyone else that kind of influenced you to where you are today. Honestly, where I am today, I keep talking about him. But my boyfriend Well, I'd say he's the biggest like motivator, like he is the one that I can always go to when I'm lost and I need to take a break or I need help brainstorming content, or he's definitely like my safe space where I know, no matter what choices or what choice I take, I have a safe spot.

J.R.:

Yeah yeah, I feel like that's. I feel like you can't underscore the importance of having your safe space or supporters, especially if you're like this, that really help the person move forward in whatever field you're in. Yeah, you're curious about this hazy guy. Listen episode 33 and 39 on. It will be featured on both of them. Yes, yeah, cool, all right. So next topic or I guess we're continuing is like breaking into the influencer field. So my first question is how does one approach being a content creator and an influencer from your perspective?

Vanessa:

I think you need to experiment, experiment a lot. Luckily, with me it was easy, because I'm like a lifestyle comedic creator, so I was able to incorporate just my life. Like it was so easy to just be like, okay, I'm getting ready, I'll just put my camera down and I'll say something funny, like I think, especially now, people want authenticity, authenticity which is really hard to find. And, yeah, just being yourself, I feel, is the easiest, and if something's not working, try something else.

J.R.:

Yeah, how do you approach? Okay, so you said comedy right, and I've seen your video, another one I thought it was that I have the day off from work or something.

Vanessa:

Hey, we got a fan right here.

J.R.:

I do my research, but they're also hilarious videos, but you're just vibing in your room and then you're just like, so is this what it's like? It's so funny. So how do you approach, I guess, comedy? Because, again, my girlfriend and I we do comedy content. But like, how do you approach it? Because it's from someone, someone from people who want to be funny, how do you just create that sort of content? I don't know, I'm just, I'm just hilarious.

Vanessa:

No, I literally can't help you there.

J.R.:

Yeah.

Vanessa:

I feel like.

J.R.:

Is there an approach that you OK? It's like you're doing lifestyle, you're just getting ready, or whatever?

Vanessa:

Like, how does this, the ideas come to you? I feel like if you think you're funny, you should post that. Like, no matter what, someone is gonna find you funny someone, because I hate like people think my voice is fake or I'm annoying or I'm trying to be like a little girl or I don't know. I get those comments. But there's also the 99% that think I'm so funny, can laugh with me or make videos that are inspired by me, and it's just, if you think you're funny, you should post it.

J.R.:

I totally agree with that. I think the more visibility that you get, you will just naturally get those haters and those comments, but at the same time you also get a lot of supporters. That's one of those things that you don't really see until you get to that point.

Vanessa:

And I think on Instagram especially, it's easier to not see those comments, or no? No, no, tiktok. Sorry, tiktok is pretty good at filtering out all the bad, but I'm not going to lie.

J.R.:

I did find a whole reddit thread on me that's very negative.

Vanessa:

That's how you know you've made it. No, that's that's what I had to tell myself. I freaking made it.

J.R.:

I have a whole hate reddit thread how, how poppin is this reddit thread like how?

Vanessa:

it's popping. Really it's pop. No, so it's funny. So I found this red Reddit thread while I was on live and that was I was crying a lot. The initial shock of it. I was like, dang, people hate me this much. But then I just let it sink in for 20 minutes. I was like, dang, I made it. I made it. Yeah, literally.

J.R.:

Okay, so it's like you're kind of over it. Oh, I'm over it Okay so I just don't want to poke a wound, but like so what? What were the things in this thread?

Vanessa:

a lot of it was like I talk like a baby they're just kind of talk like a little girl. I have no upper lip, I'm not gonna lie, that one hits because that's been, that's been a really big insecurity of mine and I've told myself ever since I was like I don't know, like middle schoolish, I was like I'm gonna get lip filler oh I'm gonna get lip filler, but I get the good comments that say I'm beautiful, it's fine, it's fine have you ever thought about doing content on those hater comments?

Vanessa:

you know what. You know what I mean. I'm gonna take that like a parody yeah, like a parody or something. It's like oh my god, you're a genius content creator. I'm gonna do that.

J.R.:

I'm gonna do that, because we've done that before too, like they'll say something and we kind of just lean into it and then it's fun because it's obviously satirical, right. But then our fans like it. So they're like, oh, that's so funny and it's just f you to the haters oh my god, that's my next video you should do it.

J.R.:

Thank you, yeah, I credit you brain wait, that's so good okay, so I guess on that topic I know we talked about haters, but hardest parts or challenges that you didn't know about content creation until now- I think we touched on it a little bit earlier.

Vanessa:

But personally, for me it's consistency, and I think that's everyone with everything, and like that can be put into any hobby or passion that people want to do. Same thing with content creation. So hard to be consistent, and but also it's not that hard, especially when it comes to short form, it's like. So what I would do is I would wake up every morning around like seven. That's just the time my body would naturally wake up. I'll be okay, I'm making a video, I'm gonna make a video and I'll post it immediately right after, and I won't check my phone the whole day because I don't want to let the numbers get to me, because at points the numbers do get to me, like dang, like this one got 40k and then this one gets a freaking million. What was the difference there? Like I don't, and so sorry.

J.R.:

Yeah, no, it's like the hardest parts. And you said consistency. My question was how do you think people can overcome that inconsistency challenge, I guess, or how? What does it work for you and you mentioned? You just mentioned posting early just to get it over with, but anything else you think helps with consistency?

Vanessa:

I actually have great advice from one of my cousins who's a content creator and she would take breaks, and that's what I'm doing right now. I don't know how long this break is going to be. I hope it's over soon, but while I'm on this break, I'm like building enough or compiling enough content so that when I get back into it it's like pre-made.

J.R.:

Right.

Vanessa:

And so I know that you kind of do that, so yeah, just in case something happens like, for instance, like I'll get sick or I don't know, something like that, and I won't be able to make content that day. So I don't have content to post that day. And so I'm learning the hard way and I'm taking this week or two long break, not posting, because I need to compile those videos.

J.R.:

So you are creating right now, but you're not posting.

Vanessa:

Yeah.

J.R.:

Oh, okay, yeah, I like that. Yeah, do you have any tips or advice for someone starting out? And also, what kind or type of do you think that people should produce?

Vanessa:

I would say don't let the numbers get to you. I think that's why I got so much success in the beginning, because I didn't care about the numbers. I just posted the video. I thought that is really funny and I don't care if people see it or not. And then I feel like the numbers just come to you, especially if you're being authentic.

J.R.:

I think it doesn't really matter what you post like, people will come to love who you are right, yeah, so I know we're talking about authenticity, but how do you think people should find, like their niche of what type of content to post?

Vanessa:

because I know that's a big thing in the content creation space.

Vanessa:

Yeah, that's something I'm working on right now too is trying to figure out where I can serialize my brand, because I'm up in the air too. Like all my videos are so different, like the one we just showed, like that was just on a random morning or Tuesday morning and I'm dying on a random morning or Tuesday morning and I'm dying. And then I'll have other videos where it's very like thought out and I'm making a matcha or I'm in my bed talking, like it's very it's. I think I'm also experimenting and trying to figure that out too, but I think as long as your personality shines through, people won't care. Yeah.

J.R.:

Plus, like, the worst case scenario is no one sees it, but the best case too many people see it, you know yeah, yeah, it's like whatever, exactly, exactly what do you think is something people get wrong about content creation, if anything that comes to mind?

Vanessa:

oh my gosh. So just recently I went to my first influencer event where I met like people that were bigger than me, like millions of followers, and then I also met people that are way smaller than me or the numbers don't matter. But I feel like there's this thing about influencers that we care about followers and whoever we talk to, and we're very like pompous and standoffish, but everyone that I've talked to at that event were so transparent about, like, their management or how, how do they get their numbers or their streaming schedule or or how they came to be, because I met people on all different levels. There are people that are doing this full-time and getting paid and live in new york skyrise apartments, and then there's people that are just doing it part-time and just doing it for fun, and I think the influencing world is really expanding and people are actually really welcoming okay yeah, I think that's tends to be true.

J.R.:

I mean, obviously you'll get your toxic people anyway oh yeah, but it's you're like to your point, you'd be surprised at how nice people actually are and how genuine they are yeah, and not just stereotyping yeah, I'm not gonna lie, the influencer event had a lot of asians, so I felt more comfortable to talk to everybody what event was it?

Vanessa:

I'm just curious it was the, the nami matcha pop-up. She, she's a YouTuber. Okay okay, but she's huge, I love her.

J.R.:

Where was the? It was in LA, oh, okay.

Vanessa:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was really really fun. I drank a lot of matcha as you should. Yeah, and then we did a yoga Pilates thing right before.

J.R.:

Oh, your specialty.

Vanessa:

Exactly. No, I'm not going to lie. I was right in the center and people were like, oh damn, she's doing like I can do.

J.R.:

It Is she going to throw up? Is she going to cry?

Vanessa:

No, I almost did, because we drank so much matcha. Oh God, why did you throw up green?

J.R.:

It was the good matcha. That sounds fun. Yeah, I guess on that topic do you have any fun, interesting or unique stories on your content creation journey? Oh my God. Something that stands out, that was like oh, that was fun.

Vanessa:

That was a good memory. I mean, I would say it's that NAMI pop-up. That was so surreal for me. People who are bigger than me and I've been watching for years went to me and said that they're huge fans of me. That was so insane. I'm so used to being the fan to the celebrity and the fact that people like not that I'm a celebrity, but that people know who I am and like and have a social or a parasocial relationship with me and like they know who I am Like that is so insane to me. I'm like what Guys? I'm a normal person.

J.R.:

Not only the fact that, right like when you have videos that go viral, you're like literally millions of people know what my face looks like. No, it's so insane. And on top of that, it's like wait, these other famous people know who I look like and who I am Exactly.

Vanessa:

Isn't that like insane yes, it's surreal.

J.R.:

If you could redo something on your content creation journey so you go back to that first day, is there anything that you would do differently, just knowing what you know now?

Vanessa:

something that I would do differently is I wish I posted on every single platform from the beginning, because I just recently started posting on instagram and I've been gaining a lot of traction on there. If I just started from the beginning on every single platform I could have. I mean, I'm very thankful, of course, for the numbers and the people that I have now, but if I just did it from the get-go like I could have been way bigger. But it's meant to happen. Yeah, of course, learn like lessons along the way. Yeah, yeah.

J.R.:

It's funny because so, going back to, I don't want to make it about me, but so with our accounts, like we startediktok, instagram and youtube and facebook I guess. But it's so interesting how we have different audiences on different platforms, which I guess makes sense. But, for example, our facebook videos, if they go viral, it's like obviously an olderish crowd and a different makeup, like demographic, and then instagram is obviously different.

J.R.:

Tiktok is obviously like youngerish, I guess, if you stereotype it. And then youtube it's obviously different, so like the comments and the people and it. And then YouTube it's obviously different, so like the comments and the people and engagement was so different the comments, right, yeah, because it's not always the same type of comments on each like platform, but it was interesting to see, like, how the platforms are so different.

Vanessa:

Yeah, no, me and Mazzy. We just had a meeting actually and we should posting on Facebook from the beginning. Like I didn't realize. I know 3 billion people are on that app every single day.

J.R.:

I know people are here, but it's kind of a dinosaur. Yeah, I get it.

Vanessa:

I'm not gonna lie. I opened the app and I'm like I don't know how to use this. I feel like an older person on Instagram or something, yeah.

J.R.:

No, I feel it.

Vanessa:

Yeah.

J.R.:

Okay, so now let's switch topics to mental wellbeing and healthy relationships. I know this is one of the topics that you mentioned you want to talk about. My first question is how is one's mental health or well-being connected to the life of a content creator?

Vanessa:

it's very interconnected. Especially if you're a lifestyle influencer, which I say I would be. It's hard for me to also be a comedic one too when I'm going through something, and that's why I'm taking this break, and I know that my community wants to see this side of me too, not only the good but the bad. But it's hard because I want to make them laugh, but that is something I need. Personally, I would like to show, as a lifestyle content creator, are the lows as well as the highs, and because the people I follow, I feel like when I see them going through something, I feel more connected too. They can be funny and make me laugh and I can see these amazing things happening for them. But it's good to humanize them too, that they're also going through something and we can go through it together. So maybe I should do that. It's like more ideas.

Vanessa:

Yeah, this is actually a brainstorming no, it's literally my brainstorming session, right now, but we listen to it back like all right, I'm taking no, literally with my little notepad.

J.R.:

Yeah what are some typical pitfalls influencers come across when dealing with their own personal well-being?

Vanessa:

I know we've been talking about this, but does anything come to mind?

J.R.:

pitfalls like yeah, I would say lows. I know you mentioned the consistency. Sometimes it could be like with friends or family or maybe juggling other things or just mental health and, like you said, what you want to put out could be different depending on how you feel. But do you feel like there are any other typical pitfalls that content creators might go through?

Vanessa:

maybe struggling to feel authentic, especially because we're in the public eye. It's like hard to differentiate when am I being me and when am I putting it on for the people. When I'm thinking of a video to do, it's very on the spot. I always try to keep it like true to me as much as I can, but it's hard because I'm like am I also trying to cater to the people I know that are going to see this, or am I being myself? And I do notice the videos where I'm not thinking about anyone, they kind of perform better. So yeah, I feel like that's where a lot of content creators struggle is staying true to themselves and not letting other people's opinions get to them.

J.R.:

So how do you approach it with, like, your online persona? So I had a guest on and we talked about this how our social or influencer friends. Sometimes they feel like they can't be themselves in public because they feel like their persona is so distinct, but they also feel like they're also really different in person, which is fair. Sometimes content only shows a specific side of us. It might not necessarily be fake, but it's just not all of us fake, but it's just not all of us. So some of those people feel like they have to hide.

J.R.:

But at the same time too, when we approach content and they're only seeing that sort of funny persona and that's not really all of us like again, for example, my girlfriend and I, we have distinct personas that sometimes we hate for and it's like you do know that's not real right it's not actually how she is, like she has a girlfriend persona where it's like she's like the whiny girlfriend who forgot her wallet at home and I'm like, oh, again, exactly, and so so that's it. She does do that sometimes, but it people think she's just this annoying whiny girl and then we're like you know, that's just like a persona, you know what I mean?

J.R.:

like it's not really her exactly, but it gets the views, so it's like balancing that. But so I don't know if you had any thoughts on that topic, but how do you approach that?

Vanessa:

So it's funny because I'll meet like people that watch me online in person, and I feel like it's not fair because I feel like I'm the same. I'm not going to lie Like everyone that I've met in person, I've been lucky enough to create a platform where I am kind of the same person. But obviously there's other sides to me, me, but I think it's the same thing, like if you're in a room with professionals like you have to be a certain way or if you're with your friends, you're gonna be a little bit more relaxed.

J.R.:

I think it just depends on the situation and yeah yeah, that makes sense because it's those that stereotype of okay someone is this way in a workspace, this way with their family this with their friends.

Vanessa:

They're not necessarily lying or it's not a facade exactly it's real, but it's just one side of it in a certain environment exactly, yeah, that's why, when people say I'm a character like, I could see how you're thinking that, but it's just like my silly side, like if you, if you think that's all I am, it's definitely a character yeah, yeah, but it's definitely part of me exactly, exactly

J.R.:

I like that we're whole people, you guys yeah, viral videos exactly um do you have any strategies or lessons you learned along the way that help you manage, I guess in the realm of your mental well-being or healthy relationships or anything like that? But are there any strategies that you've learned? Like as an influencer as an influencer, maybe as a person?

Vanessa:

I feel like building a community with you, like, for instance, like my boyfriend has become my brainstorm expert, my manager, my everything. It's just helpful when you have a team, like building a team, and also like I Twitch stream too, and so I have mods who've helped me manage everything going on, because I don't really know how Twitch works.

J.R.:

But I'm a Twitch streamer.

Vanessa:

And yeah, I feel like when you build a community around you that is supportive and helpful, it makes the whole process a lot easier. And oh, and my sister too, like she's been a huge help, like editing for me and helping me come with new ideas too, and also when I'm going through a lot of like mental blocks or I need a break from content creating, she's also been a lot, a lot of help too. So definitely like the people who you surround yourself with, yeah definitely so.

J.R.:

What about? This is kind of a shift, but also the same. So you mentioned healthy relationships. So maybe this isn't necessarily as a content creator, but maybe as a person. I think we all want healthy relationships.

Vanessa:

We don't want toxic relationships, relationships, but maybe we can start off like what has your journey been with building healthy relationships.

Vanessa:

Yeah, oh my god. I feel like I've grown up in really I hate to say it in a really like toxic environment and also at a really young age, like when I was 16. I was like in a really young age, like when I was 16, I was like in a really toxic relationship and it really affected my self-dialogue, like I would talk so down on myself and the people around me like wouldn't would just make it worse, and I feel like keep talking about this man. My boyfriend did a complete 180 on the way I treat myself and the people around me and I have to owe it to him being secure in himself and being what is it called the attachment styles or whatever, oh, like avoidance or like anxious, I'm anxious, I'm anxious, I'm very anxious.

Vanessa:

But luckily my partner is super secure and he's taught me, like so many, methods and ways where I can treat not only him with even more respect and love, but also people around me, and especially myself, and especially myself. Like something that they don't tell you about changing from a super toxic relationship to a really secure one is now you're not fighting with the other person, now you're fighting with yourself and you're trying to figure out how can I be a good person, not only for myself but now this other person, because now this person is respecting me and I need to respect them. I can't just yell at my partner like the way I used to be, like it's reteaching yourself how to be a good partner. Oh my God, what was the question again?

J.R.:

No, no, no, I mean we're going yeah, you can keep going. Were there any specific like strategies or mental scripts or, I guess, guiding philosophies that help you to manage those relationships in a healthier way?

Vanessa:

I would say while I'm being in this really healthy relationship, it's spending a lot of time with myself and being able to self-reflect on, or being more conscious of, my words and my actions. For my partner, the people around me Like I noticed that the way I talk to my sisters a lot has changed, and even my parents too. Like I have to go back and reflect on their perspective also. It's not just about me and how I feel in this moment, it's also their background and how their attachment styles are, and I need to respect that and also teach them at the same time, like how we can treat each other with more respect.

J.R.:

Yeah, I see, so I'm assuming that. Well, I think it reminds me of Hasi's episode. It was that idea of approaching it Like you're on the same team and you're trying to start off with okay, here we have a conflict. Obviously. But if you, if you set the foundation of we're trying to resolve this thing together and with partnerships and like romantic relationships, then you get a better outcome, because it's oh, we're not starting as adversaries, we're starting as like partners or same teammates. And I think that's hard too, because it forces us to have to stop, listen and empathize first before we throw our agenda over the fence.

J.R.:

But it's more like okay, let me hear you out, and also, this is what we're trying to do but that's really hard.

Vanessa:

No, it's so crazy that you say that, because when I heard that for the first time, like when he said we're on the same team, I was just like wait, what I didn't realize we could be partners and on the same team. I don't know why I never did that before.

J.R.:

I never did that before, so I'm learning do you have any advice for people who are trying to either get out of toxic relationships or build a healthy one family, friends, romantic or otherwise that you feel like would help people?

Vanessa:

I feel like mine is kind of unhinged, but go for it bad relationship, let's break up, don't stay. Is that unhinged? No, literally. I just I always think back like it's not unhinged. Huh, it's not. I feel like that's healthy?

J.R.:

how do you know when to leave and when to stay? Maybe? That's also maybe a big question, but for some people it's subjective, right. Like oh, I think I can fix him, I can fix her right. Or like what? At what point is it like like it's a clear line in the sand, deal breaker of it's toxic, or if it's like both people are trying to work through it and they have their own baggage or trauma and they're all trying to work on it together. Are there any, in your opinion, characteristics of okay, this is worth continuing or this is worth cutting off?

J.R.:

oh gosh, this is just taking me back, you want to learn from each, but if you want to pass, we can pass.

Vanessa:

no, no, let's talk about it. I'm very passionate about this. I just feel like, yes, you should grow with your partner. I feel like when it's really taking away from your peace, it's not your job to fix them. I don't know, Especially if you're younger. It's like we're both growing. How do I know what's right for you and how do you know what's right for me? We're both so young it doesn't make sense. It's like we're two like blind people trying to cross the street. I don't know. I feel like my advice is I was going to say when you see the first red flag, you need to run.

J.R.:

Okay, now easy question.

Vanessa:

What are some easy red flags, just to throw it out there that you think maybe people don't see? So my experience with my first relationship, I feel, is really extreme. Like I experienced a lot of like emotional, physical, verbal abuse and I should have known that like from the beginning. That was a red flag, but in my head I was like so swarmed up in love or what I thought was love, that I stayed, and I think it's hard for a person in the relationship to see that. But I do think when there's people around you that you're confiding in and they're telling you this isn't good for you, I think that's when you need to listen and that's when you need to actually act on it.

Vanessa:

It's, it's real. It's harder or it's easier said than done for sure, but I feel like when you hear your community telling you this isn't good for you, because they know you the best, you should.

J.R.:

Yeah, I think that's that's good advice, because you're saying from the inside it is very hard to take yourself out of it and make the right decision. Yeah, but at the very least you can listen to the people around you who care about you, who can see it and be like, listen to them a little bit, yeah, and help. It might help you make that decision a little more easier. Uh, so I think that's good advice yeah, yeah, that's something I didn't't do.

J.R.:

Yeah, I mean, you live and you learn, right, I think we all have to make mistakes the hard way sometimes and, like you said, when we're young we can't avoid it because we're all just the blind meeting the blind. So unless you guys are just born amazing at relationships, it's kind of hard to navigate that. Oh yeah, anything else on either identifying toxicity, getting of that or advice you would give for finding and cultivating healthy relationships. If not, we covered a lot. Oh, go for it.

Vanessa:

The first thing is always that just leave him, just leave hey, I mean, what's the worst that can happen?

J.R.:

you, maybe you guys are both meant to be apart, you know at least I don't know I don't even, I don't even think that's a hot take.

Vanessa:

I feel like that's just okay, yeah, thank you, I mean okay, ready for rapid fire questions oh yeah, this is the fun also. I was like looking over, I feel like they're not so rapid for me like oh well, we'll see, we'll see, we have, we have a solid, like 10-15 minutes, okay, okay perfect. First one billboard question if you could put up a sign for millions for me. Oh, we'll see, we'll see. We have a solid like 10, 15 minutes.

J.R.:

Okay, okay, perfect. First one billboard question If you could put up a sign for millions of people to see, what would it say?

Vanessa:

Don't care about the numbers, keep going.

J.R.:

What is one of the hardest challenges you've faced and what did you learn from it?

Vanessa:

I want to go back to what I was talking about before. It was when I was put into this really beautiful, healthy relationship and I had to come to terms with myself and how I react to things by myself, Even though I have such an amazing partner. I feel like spending time by yourself and realizing who you are is the best way that you can be your true self.

J.R.:

It's the internal work that's so important. Oh yeah, all right. Next, one Self-inflicted wound. Do you have a story about something that's gone wrong in your life? That's your own fault and you can't blame anyone else?

Vanessa:

I would say that toxic relationship, like I had so many opportunities to leave and I will say I was young so I made mistakes, but did you ask if I could do it differently?

J.R.:

I mean, that's the next question, but this was like if you can't blame anyone, so what would you redo?

Vanessa:

but I would have left yeah, okay.

J.R.:

Well, that was the next question, but if you could give your younger self advice? That's nothing that we've already talked about.

Vanessa:

I would say focus on yourself. I, especially if you're younger, that's like my biggest mistake is I prioritized too many people over anything that I wanted to do or anything I wanted to accomplish. I wish I just poured the most into myself, more than anyone else, because I could have been like a whole person earlier. I feel like I'm more of a whole person now, but yeah.

J.R.:

Okay, in the last few years, what new belief, behavior or habit has improved your life?

Vanessa:

I would say my self dialogueialogue. I feel like being my biggest hype man taking care of myself. I would take care of myself, but in a very surface level way. I think that what we keep talking about my internal work has definitely helped me grow as a person and only thrive.

J.R.:

How do you define success? Grow as a person and only thrive.

Vanessa:

How do you define success? I feel like everyone's success is really dependent on whatever they want to do. I feel like if you're pursuing whatever you want to do whenever you want, I feel like that's success.

J.R.:

Nice. If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you be doing right now? And if you knew you would absolutely fail, what would you do anyway?

Vanessa:

I would be a YouTuber. Right now I don't know what it is. Youtube feels so hard. I'm just so used to short-form content because it's so easy. I don't know what this hurdle is Like.

J.R.:

YouTube and long-form content has been such a struggle for me what do you like about youtube in long form, like what draws you to it?

Vanessa:

well, number one just growing up on youtube. Like watching these amazing creators, like being a part of that thing, that yeah and also I'm not gonna lie like the possible stability of it monetarily like financial perspective yeah, I just I feel like that, like if I I feel like that's when I'll feel like a real influencer per se, is when I start doing that. I'm gonna work on it like it.

J.R.:

If you knew you would absolutely fail, what would you do anyways?

Vanessa:

I took that question a little differently. I thought, okay, if I was gonna die, what would I do then? I'd probably be traveling the world so much right now I'd probably be all over, just probably doing content, just so I could feed myself and probably living that nomad life.

J.R.:

Yeah, okay, that works is what's something that you've been pondering frequently or deeply, and probably living that nomad life. Yeah, okay, that works. What's something that you've been pondering frequently or deeply, or what is a favorite hot take you have?

Vanessa:

Oh my God, Can I do both? Sure, well, as I mentioned, I'm like on a break right now, and so I'm just trying to recollect, like, my thoughts and how I'm going to move forward, especially because I'm planning to post on all content and also trying to get a very strict Twitch schedule and trying to pursue content creation as a whole, because right now I'm working part time and then, on top of that, trying to like make content creation a thing and I'm really trying to basically manage myself right now, it's true. Yeah.

J.R.:

Makes sense. Do you have a hot take, favorite hot take?

Vanessa:

Oh my God, I had a good one.

J.R.:

Something that the way I phrase it is something that you feel like is true, but maybe not mainstream people or most people would agree with, but you're like. But I think it is something that you feel like is true, but maybe not mainstream people or most people would agree with, but you're like, but I think it's true though.

Vanessa:

I think that you need to be more selfish. I think everyone needs to be more selfish, leave him. And that too, I didn't want to say it again. I didn't want to say it again.

J.R.:

I'm like she wants to say. I wanted to say that I'm like ah, I already said that. Be selfish and leave him.

Vanessa:

Exactly. I feel like, okay, I'm not gonna lie. Especially as a woman, I think we need to be selfish.

J.R.:

I mean, I think people just need to take care of themselves more. Prioritize yourself.

Vanessa:

That's a better way to say it. Yeah, prioritize yourself. I should have said that. That's a nicer way of saying it, you said the same thing.

J.R.:

Yeah, wave, you said the same thing. Yeah, yeah, and on like a more philosophical level, I think people don't realize this. But we are the ceos of our own life. No one's gonna tell us what to do. We're not clocking into someone like we have to control how our life goes. So in that sense, it's like you if you don't prioritize yourself, who's gonna prioritize?

Vanessa:

exactly nobody exactly see. That's where I'm struggling. I need to learn how to like, manage and like even like. Scheduling appointment for me is so hard.

J.R.:

I don't know why somebody says sometimes it's not our strengths, right? Yeah, it's like. I think that's why people who are creators and artists have teams, because, let's say, we're more right brain and we need a team that's more left brain, or vice versa oh my god, that makes so much sense.

Vanessa:

Yeah, so I never thought about like that.

J.R.:

That's so true yeah, it's like, it's like the. I talk about this on the podcast, but it's like a company. There's like the CEO and like the COO or whatever, but typically there's a number one and number two. The number one archetype is like the creative visionary.

Vanessa:

Yeah.

J.R.:

And the number two is more of the grounded, structured spreadsheets type person, and you need both to work. Obviously, if you're a one-man company, you need to do both, but it's not always our strengths for one or two right. It's usually one or the other, and so partnering up is usually a better option, or you could learn both skills oh yeah oh yeah, so I I believe that it's so, it's hard I'm not, I'm very, I'm very number two oh nice, yeah, I'm very more structured but like.

J.R.:

But to take initiative on anything, especially content creation, you do need to bring out the number one in yourself, like the vision, creativity stuff. I agree with that. Yeah, okay, what is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you've ever made in either time money, energy or etc I would say so.

Vanessa:

I work part-time now, but I quit my job in january. That's when I made that dancing video Like the week after I quit. I quit my job after I took a week break.

J.R.:

And that's a crazy lore drop.

Vanessa:

I did quit after that. I did quit.

J.R.:

I enjoyed my time. Did you see how?

Vanessa:

happy I was in that video.

J.R.:

I had to quit yeah, why would I stop this happening?

Vanessa:

Exactly, yeah, why would I stop this exactly? And so I, yeah, so I quit because I knew that content creation is something that I want to pursue and I think that was like literally the best thing that's ever happened to me, because that's when, all of a sudden, like all of these opportunities started to come to fruition. I don't know why, or, but I'm pretty sure because I quit, I like made way for like more opportunity to come. I also was able to express myself more creatively. I just just giving myself that time, and I did pick up a part-time job. Now I think that's why I'm losing it, because I got a job again.

J.R.:

Oh, I see, I'm pretty sure that's why I'm losing it because I got a job again oh, I see, I'm pretty sure that's you're like out of the vibe now because you're also it's a vibe.

Vanessa:

No, I'm definitely not a CEO. I'm, or I'm the CEO. I'm just the. I need the time to perfect the craft and my part-time job is getting in the way I feel it. I resonate.

J.R.:

I resonate with that. I feel like I agree because the I think something like quitting your job is an intention you put out in the universe and the universe responds to our intentions that we put out, and so it's like sometimes we do need to take that leap of faith or make a decision that you can't turn back on, because that shift changes your energy frequency.

Vanessa:

You know it's so funny. I always hear that funny. I always hear that like. I always hear that like on a random podcast clip or something. But it's so funny that it's so true, right, yeah it.

J.R.:

It's true, when you do it and you experience it, you're like, oh, this wasn't just it actually is a real thing.

Vanessa:

Yeah, I completely agree.

J.R.:

Okay, favorite recent purchase in the 50 to 100 range that has impacted your life the most in the last six months. So some recent cheap purchase that's cheap 50 to 100 range that has impacted your life the most in the last six months. So some recent cheap purchase that's cheap.

Vanessa:

50.

J.R.:

To 100, I guess the range doesn't matter. The spirit of the question is like something that someone can easily buy, but you're like, wow, this little thing has made an impact I was like damn, spent $500 today on clothes.

Vanessa:

I'm trying to think of something. Oh, I would say okay, I would say I've been investing a little bit more into my groceries, I've gotten a little bit more healthier options and I think that has actually definitely helped my well-being. But also not good, because now when I go to fast food, and I want something quick. It hurts my stomach so it's kind of counterintuitive, but I do feel a lot better because I've paid more attention to what I put into my body.

J.R.:

Do you have any examples of things that you've been buying that you haven't before?

Vanessa:

I've been drinking a lot of bone broth late oh what kind of just the one from costco beef chicken yeah, chicken tastes really good. Supposedly it's supposed to help your sweet tooth throughout the day, because your body doesn't crave sweets as much when you start your day off with something savory, but I don't know about that I still eat I still eat some sweets at the end of the night I see, yeah, that's a good pro tip.

J.R.:

Maybe you guys should experiment and try it out.

Vanessa:

Yeah, it's good for your digestion, you guys.

J.R.:

It's funny because, like for the first three weeks in May, I was sick and I was drinking a lot of bone broth.

Vanessa:

Did you do your podcast?

J.R.:

still no. I had a break because I had my schedule already.

Vanessa:

Good, you got that content ready to go.

J.R.:

I was preparing for this contingency. So yeah, I was drinking bone broth in the mornings because I needed to rehydrate and stuff like that. But I did notice that I did feel I don't want to say full, but I didn't have as much sweet cravings throughout the day, and it's because I normally start off with something sweet for breakfast like overnight oats. But this time I was starting with something savory and I was like wait, I am not craving sweets as much am not craving sweets as much maybe it doesn't work.

J.R.:

I don't know, I wasn't lying. Just one yeah, like data point. Okay, last one favorite books, movies, videos, articles that you share or recommend the most like any media books, movies, it could be any media that you consume okay, I'm a comedic one, so I'm gonna give you guys something funny.

Vanessa:

I don't know if you've heard she's a very new or she's been doing great content for a long time, but… have you heard of Vanilla Mace? She's the funniest woman on this planet earth.

J.R.:

You guys need to watch her. What is she like?

Vanessa:

She's a Twitch streamer and she's like a lifestyle content creator on YouTube.

J.R.:

So it's like what you want to do.

Vanessa:

Exactly, exactly. That's why I recommend her.

J.R.:

No, she's so funny she's gonna make you guys pee your pants. What was her name? Again, just vanilla mace. You guys, how do you spell mace? M-a-c-e? Okay, okay, cool, I'll link it. Nice, oh, you will. Yeah, no, I'll, maybe she'll see it. Well, I don't know she'll see it, but I like, whatever we talk about, I try to link, and so people they want to see what, like those thoughtful anything else? Any other media recs?

Vanessa:

no, just thank, just thank you. This is so awesome, I feel. I finally feel comfortable at the last minute.

J.R.:

There you go. If we do part two, then you're like all right, this is perfect. Okay, nice Well that's it for rapid fire questions, so we'll go into ending questions. So, vanessa, gratitude Shout out to my mom. What are you grateful for?

Vanessa:

I'm grateful for my family, my boyfriend and opportunity to come here today. I was so excited, half nervous, but now I'm chill, so, yeah, that's great super fun.

J.R.:

Do you have any final ask from the audience or final takeaways you'd like them to have from this conversation?

Vanessa:

if you want to start content creating, just do it, just do it, just do it and leave him and leave him. Don't forget that, please.

J.R.:

If you feel like this message resonates with you, you should probably leave him, but if it doesn't apply to you, then just for fun you know, everybody just listen up exactly all right. So where can we find you if people want to check out what you're up to or, you know, connect with you.

Vanessa:

Okay, I'm trying to get a more stricter Twitch stream schedule so you guys can see me live on Twitch. I'm on TikTok, mainly Instagram and hopefully YouTube there you go Manifest it, put it out in the universe.

J.R.:

Yes, yes, nice Well, vanessa, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did and I'm sure the audience would have learned a lot and really enjoyed the vibes you have, and they'll check you out.

Vanessa:

Oh yeah, I love the vibes here. Yeah, thank you so much.

J.R.:

Of course. So I'll do my final sign off. So thank you guys for being here.

J.R.:

I really appreciate it leave, vanessa, some love in the comments, wherever you're watching. No hate, please go to the reddit thread if you want to leave. Hey, it's fine, or go defend me on there, yeah, or that, or give her ideas for new content, please. She's open to that, yeah. So, yeah, thank you guys for being here um reminder to always be kind to other people, especially yourself, and remember that you can always learn something from someone if you take the time to listen. So thanks for listening.

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